Q: Why did the little girl fall off the swing? A: She didn't have any arms.

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Why did the chicken cross the road? Because it was tired of hearing that joke

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Why was the young girl sad? A doctor told her that due to the fact that she was recently raped, she contracted AIDS.

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Knock, knock. Who's there? FBI. FBI who? The FBI. We have your house surrounded. Pervert.

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My name is me I like fired chicken!

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What did Siri say to Cortana? Nothing. Someone has to say something in order to activate either one of the voice recognition devices.

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Did you hear about the man who lost his right arm and left leg... He's ok now he's all right.

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Yeah, haha, I tend to put myself under a state of trance at the same time I put others down there, which makes it difficult to stop it sometimes, I do it for ethical reasons, I mean if I would ever hypnotize someone into feeling really bad, it would affect me as well. You might want to get some water on your face, you know, so your upper lips don't envy the lower ones.

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What do you get when you cross an owl and a bungee cord? Well, contrary to popular belief, it is NOT Master Pain's (Betty's) "butt". You would most likely get a bungee jumping owl.

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A newly wed couple is at the beach and the wife asks for sunscreen and the man says he forgot it in the car. He goes to the car only to find that the car had been broken into. He goes to call his wife and they go back to the car only to find that the car had been stolen. #Turns out the thief broke the window to steal the car but saw the owner coming and hid behind a bush and upon the man going to call his wife he continued with his mission

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What did the leper say to the prostitute? "How much?! No thanks, I think I'll shop around."

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how many people does it take to change a light bulb....... none..................its stilll bright

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What's worse than getting pulled over by the police? getting pulled over and getting a bloody tampon stuck to your forehead.

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Why did the sperm swim back? cos he realised that he was in someones anus!

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whats worse than unloading a truck of dead babies with pitch forks? Finding one alive

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Q: What's the difference between an Indian and a Trampoline. A: You take your shoes off to jump on a Trampoline.

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What do you do if you see a cat crossing the street? Hit it of course!

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wanna know the biggest joke on antijoke.com? People's spelling.

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A:how many notzies dose it change a light bulb B:none they made the jewish do it. :(

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whats the difference between a ferrari in my garage, and a pile of dead babies in my garage. I do not have a ferrari but i do have a pile of dead babies

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So a man walks into a bar and gets a drink, then a man walks up to him and tries to start a fight, the first man says, "No thanks" and walks home.

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How do you stop a baby from crawling in circles? Pick it up and put it in a crib, like a responsible parent.

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WHATS THE BEST AVENUE TIN SHACK AVENUE

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A man walks into a bar, he then proceeds to purchase his favorite alcoholic beverage.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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