What happened when the man crossed the road? He lived happily ever after because he looked both ways for traffic.

Is this your pen? I wanna go to school, bye!

What did the cannibal do after he dumped his girlfriend........... Wiped his ass

Where was sally during the bombing? Everywhere!

Does your iPod have zoom on it? Yeah, but it doesn't have a camera

A Muslim and 2 French people walked into a bar They start to have a nice conversation about Charlie Hebdo

Caramel Boing.

What do a rabbit and a plum have in common? -They're both purple except the rabbit.

What did the newborn get on it's birthday? A life

Why do blind people laugh at this joke? Because they can't read it and everyone else is laughing.

What did the man with no arms or legs get for Christmas? A bike

What did Helen Keller name her dog? Phil.

Knock knock. Who's there? Josh. Lettuce who? I didn't say "lettuce"... I said Josh.

How many tickles does it take to make an octopus laugh? Eight, because there's one tickle per tentacle!

I heard an awesome joke last night. I cannot remember it.

Roses are red. Violets are blue.

What did the alcoholic Indian do? Continued to drink and further worsen his people's stereotype.

Why did the monkey fall out of the tree? It was dead. Why did the second monkey fall out of the tree? It was stapled to the first monkey. Why did the third monkey fall out of the tree? Peer pressure.

Whats worse than getting an "F" on a test? Stage diving with a kilt on.

A man that says YOU SUCK MY DICK YEAH!finds a woman that says YOU SUCK MY BOOB YEAH!They get married,The woman is actually a gay man!

What did the little boy with cancer get for his birthday .............. Nothing because he died before his birthday

Who killed Lincoln Nobody knows

Why couldn't the black man get his lawnmower to start? He was too poor to own a home =)

What do you call a man with a horse? A man

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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