Roses are red. Violets are blue. I have alzheimers. Cheese on toast.

What do you call a college student who never studies? An irresponsible person

Why did Suzie fall off the swing? Because she had no arms. Knock knock. Who's there? Doesn't matter get in the van.

what do you call a black man, white man, mexican, irishman, indian, and chinese man being hung at the same time? -a racially diverse pirate crew

How many Cancer patients does it take to screw in a lightbulb? One. Cancer does not affect one's ability to install light bulbs.

A chink walks into a bar. She is spotted by the secret police and instantly deported. Vote UKIP

A baby seal walks into a club. It is eventually beaten to death and eaten.

You: Ask me if I like lasagna. Them: Do you like lasagna? You: No.

Why did the chicken cross the road So he could get back to the farm and lay more eggs

What's Donald Trump's favorite color? Green.

A musician without any music walks into a bar. The bartender asks, "Who do you think you are, a hobbit?" The musician without any music says,"yeah" and turns into a hobbit

A blonde, a Jew, and a black man all went to the store. They each bought their groceries and went home to enjoy the rest of their day with their families.

why did the supermodel have sex with the janitor? she loved him. and he was brad pitt.

What is green and fuzzy and would kill you if it fell out of a tree? An elephant I lied!

Jemal picks 3 apples. He eats two of them, and then picks 3 more. What color was Jamal?

When Chuck Norris does a push up, he's working out.

Roses are red,violets are blue, i love the colour red and green but its a pitty because im not so keen.

What song does the lady camel sing to seduce male camels - my humps my humps my humps my humps How did sergay the camel respond? -we dont know. He died a fatal death involving hippos in hula skirts, and flying guavas

A fat guy!

A man walks in front of a bus. The bus driver avoids the man but hits the boy eating ice cream.

Why did the chicken cross the road? Because it was getting chased by nazis.

jim davidson , nick griffin , and bernard manning walk into a bar , and order a bitter, a lager, and a stout respectfully

2 men were in a bar, One was talking to the other, "I was walking down the street someone fell." "ha" "isis it true?" "What" "isis" and a bomb went off and they all died

Q: what's your dog's name ? A: Dog.

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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