knock, knock Who's there? Statefarm... and we are always gonna be there for you

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Why did the chicken cross the road? Because Macy's was having a giant sale.

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Riddle me this, riddle me that. I'll eat your f^cking cat.

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Why are friends like trees? If you hack at them repeatedly with an axe, they fall over.

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Why do blonde girls like penis? Because it tastes good

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Q: why did the dog fall down the stairs? A: Because I pushed him down.

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Q. What is a similarly between Jewa and Pizza. A. There both baked in a over

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So there we were, climbing Mount Kjerag and we take a break. So I decided to tell you a joke. "Isn't this nice, just hanging around? See it's funny because we're suspended over 1000 metres in the air by our harnesses, except that you're not because I cut yours and now you're falling and you're gonna die." But I had done all that before I told you the joke so you didn't hear me and now I'll have to cut my harness and try to catch up to you so I can repeat myself. Great job, ya prick.

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Three children had stumbled into an old cottage where they were met by a wizard. The wizard pointed out a slide in the corner of his cottage. He told the children that they could each go down the slide and that they could shout out a word while sliding. He told them that what ever they shouted, they would land in a pool of it at the bottom of the slide. So the first child began sliding and shouted out "GOLD" and sure enough he landed in a large pool of solid gold. Due to its extreme hardness the child was killed immediately on impact.

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Why shouldn't 6 guys sleep naked in the same bed? They would not fit

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What do you get when you cross a rooster with a cocker spaniel? Nothing, because roosters and Dog's don't mix.

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Q. what tall and looks like a jew? A.TODD

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why am I a hobo? because I lost my job.

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what did one dinosaur say to the other? "rawr"

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"knock knock" "whos there?" "pizza delivery!"

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a priest and a jewish guy walk into a bar. they both drink as expected and go home to their families

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so a man walks into a bar, then the prison warden told him to calm doun.

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Why did the Europeans colonise Africa Because they couldn't do it themselves

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Why did the first monkey fall out of the tree? He died! Why did the second monkey fall out of the tree? He was attached to the first! Why did the third monkey fall out of the tree? He thought it was a game! Why did the fridge fall out of the tree? The branch broke! Why did Sally fall off her bike? She got hit by three monkeys and a fridge!

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How do you make a penguin fly? You strap it to the roof of a plane.

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What's the difference between Miley Cyrus and a dead baby? One is a popular singer and the other is a dead baby.

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Knock knock Who's there It's a policeman informing you that your parents have been killed in a car crash. Your Dad, who has been struggling with substance abuse and depression, found out his wife had been cheating on him, and in a drunken rage, wrapped the car around a tree.

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what did the prostitute say to the black man after they had sexual intercourse? I have aids

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What do you call a Black guy who flies planes? A pilot

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops