Where's the soap?

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Why was the boy scared? Well, his mother had recently taken up Satanical ideals and in an attempt to sacrifice themselves to the Dark Lord, she drove her car off a cliff and into a lake. Now, with his dead mother in the drivers seat, no way to call emergency services, and 300 feet of water between him and the surface, you can see why he'd be scared.

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-I have an idea! Let's play twenty questions! -Alright! But i have to warn u I have piss running down my leg

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- Mom, you have a banana in you ear. - What? Son I can't hear you, I have banana in my ear.

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a lazy boy sleeps 23/24 hours. what does he do in the remaining hour ? he takes a nap

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Friends are like balloons.. If you stab them they die.

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A duck flies into a bar. The bartender allows it to stay because it turns into a beautiful swan. The goose then lays a golden egg and the bartender stares in awe as a giant bean stalk grows out of the egg. He's ecstatic and really glad he let the flamingo stay with all the wonderful colors and magic going on.

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The once was a little girl named Suzy who liked swings; the only trouble was that she had no arms. In order to avoid having any jokes written (and recycled thousands of times) about this fact, she decided to run a sponsored marathon in order to pay for prosthetic arms. Suzy swung happily for the rest of her days. [L]

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i am not a pothead!!! the only time ive evr been high was springbreak last year!!! mm hmm... wat were u doin over spring break to get high? i had jaw surgery and the doctor had me on tons of painkillers

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What did the slutty blonde get her boyfriend for Valentine's Day? Nothing because she had died of AIDS months ago.

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Ill never forget the last phone conversation i had with my Jewish friend before he died due to the 9/11 incident. Friend:owejpq3jhp3qjopiqwejhriopjhaiophfioashiohwih13ioh3f2893hoiqehefioahfioahisdpahdfajdfopasjiopdfajdfopsajradalkdjakldja;hdfkl;adhlpa;dhfakl;dhkladhkadhlkhdjklahdjkgsdjkgbdqwgy3bi3grqbhgjkasjkdkasjdgjkadgskajgdkajdsgjkasgdad

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Knock Knock whos there? brad are you thomas brad are you thomas who? for goodness are you a parot or something

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How do Mexicans like their eggs? It's a matter of personal opinion, of course.

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Roses are red Violets are blue I have Parkinson's dl;ghd;jgfldsj;foshdgoljdlkfnjslpaoijejknjvnoidnmaokepinjndonfvio

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Roses are red Violets are blue Some roses are white 72.4% of Americans are too

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That akward moment when you tell a person you like them and they don't respond.

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Why did the plane crash? Cause the pilot was a loaf of bread

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Daniel G. Likes to perve on the boys in the locker room. Change quick guys!

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how many licks does it take to get to the center of lollipop? unknown.

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Mr. Krabs lives in bikini bottom (pinch pinch)

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What do you call a man with only one eye? Half blind.

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Jimmy: Knock Knock Nick: Whose there? Jimmy: Joe Nick: Joe Who? Jimmy: Joe Mamma Nick: No shes dead.

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What are we ? Students ! What do we want ? Six months holiday ! When do we want it ? Twice a year !

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Q. What did the girl on drugs get for Easter? A. Down Syndromes Disease.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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