Two bees are flying around a flower. "Hey," says one bee, "you ever think about the meaning of all of this? I mean, isn't there more to life than pollinating and satisfying the Queen?" The other bee replies, "No."

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Yo mamma so poor she got a job.

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Q: Why is grass green? A: I painted it.

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why couldnt hellen keller drive a car? because she was a woman

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What do you get when you cross a moose with a crépe? A moose with a crépe up his nose. -ilikecrepes97

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what has a huge nose and is jewish??? Henery Miller!!!!!

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Why did the white guy die because he had cancer

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what is the difference between gravel and dead baby guts? i dont eat gravel.

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Did you hear the joke about the pencil? Nevermind it was pointless.

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Why did the goose cross the road? Because the chicken was on vacation

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Why couldn't Hellen Keller drive? Because she was blind.

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whats black and white and black and white and black and white? a penguin rolling down a hill whats black and white and laughing? the penguin that pushed him

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There's a black man and a mexican in a car who's driving ? The black man because the mexican is intoxicated and they both want to prevent serious injury or death

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A Christian, a Sunni Muslim, and a Shi'a Muslim walked into a government building. Turns out, they were Lebanese, so this was a normal occurrence. Thus, to draw any humor from it before first taking into account the weaknesses of your own government would be both unwise and unfair.

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Once there was an English man, A Scottish man and an Irsh man. They were all in a scenario where each of them had to undetake a task. The English man and the Scottish man undertook their task without any problems, but the Irish man was confused resulting in a hilarious outcome.

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What do you call a something with no limbs? a snake

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There was this guy at a bar, just looking at his drink. He stays like that for half of an hour. Then, this big trouble-making truck driver steps next to him, takes the drink from the guy, and just drinks it all down. The poor man starts crying. The truck driver says, "Come on man, I was just joking. Here, I'll buy you another drink. I just can't stand to see a man cry." "No, it's not that. This day is the worst of my life. First, I fall asleep, and I go late to my office. My boss, outrageous, fires me. When I leave the building, to my car, I found out it was stolen. The police said that they can do nothing. I get a cab to return home, and when I leave it, I remember I left my wallet and credit cards there. The cab driver just drives away." "I go home, and when I get there, I find my wife in bed with the gardener. I leave home, and come to this bar. And just when I was thinking about putting an end to my life, you show up and drink my poison."

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What is the quickest way to speed up your 70 year old husband’s heart rate? Extract of foxglove is a very effective blocker of the parasympathetic nervous system, and since the parasympathetic nervous system is responsible for slowing the heart, this would lead to an increase in heart rate. However, it is very dangerous to use such chemicals without advice, and therefore it is better to seek an examination and, if necessary, a prescription from a qualified GP.

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Why are Asians good at Math? Because they are bad at English.

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One scientist is talking to another scientist. One say "what's the matter?" The other replies "my family is dead"

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whats worse than a worm in your apple..? getting shot..

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How many Jews does it take to screw in a lightbulb? -None, they will pay for somebody else to do it

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q. What's the worst thing about your family a. There related to you

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Q: Why did the monkey fall out of the tree? A: He had no arms Q: Why did the frog fall out of the tree? A: He was stapled to the monkey's face

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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