What day is it today? It's "Jack Daniels Day" according to that guy with the shopping cart filled with kittens.

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What's the difference between a baby and my trampoline? I take my boots off before i jump on my trampoline. . .

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http://www.booksie.com/declan_mckimm

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How come Susie fell off of the swing? -because I hit her with an axe

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Roses are red, Violets are blue, This is a poem, Penis knuckle.

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Whats a black and white and red all over? i dont know...who spends their time researching this kind of stuff

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Roses are Red, Violets are Blue, I've got a shotgun, Give me the money.

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So a man walking down a nature trail came across an injured fox laying on the ground in pain, it looked like it was attacked recently. There wasn't much the man could do at the time, so he gently picked up the fox and rushed the fox to his house. The man arrives moments later at his house with the fox. There were a lot of options the man could choose, but he went with a simple recipe. The man grabbed a knife and gutted the fox, removing all unnecessary organs. He then skinned the fox of it's fur. He sliced the head off, cut the legs to a stub, and stuffed it. He gave it a nice seasoning and placed it in the oven at about 350F for 6 hours. When the fox was perfectly cooked, it was taken out of the oven and left to sit for about 5 minutes to cool. He cut a chunk of meat from the dish and sat down to eat. "What a fine meal" the man said.

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roses are red violets are green id love to flick owen cliffords mams bean

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Nero, you got followers, people that believe in you, ironically maybe a lot less now, that I have been giving them the fake illusion that I am you, why did you never reveal your true self? Is there something wrong with you physically? Something you fear being judged upon? I love and admire your work, and you to be honest, I know you are married and all, but my heart has chosen its path, it cant be helped really, believe me, I have tried. Dont lose hope in yourself, sometimes you have to accept that you are smarter, wiser, more compassionate and vulnerable than the rest, allowing yourself to be a vulnerable person, also shows how strong you are, if you shut it all away in order to become "strong", you know you end up alone and forgotten. I understand why someone such as you loses hope in humanity, but as long as you hold into the hope of you having the wisdom and courage required to stand on your own with pride rather than shame of your strength and individuality as a human being, something ever rarer I concur, then you have the right to consider yourself greater rather than some arrogant jackass, believe me, I know the man I am speaking about.

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What's worse than finding out that your dog has worms? Finding out that you have worms.

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KANE TUCKER HAS A CHODE THE SIZE OF HIS FINGER NAIL

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Your mom is so poor She will soon have to make the difficult decision whether or not to put you up for adoption

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Why did little Bobby put a firecracker in the dog's ass? Don't worry he used lube.

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What's worse then biting into your apple and finding a worm? Biting into your apple and finding two worms.

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Knock Knock. Who's there? Come in! Come in who? I'm just com in' inside.

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How do you kill Helen Keller? With a gun.

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Doctor! doctor! I feel like a bridge! That's the least of your problems you've got cancer by ndc

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Why did the chicken cross the road? Because it got out of its cage, was running away from its owner, and crossing a busy street seemed like the most effective way to gain freedom.

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Q: What is brown and sticky and often found in the grass? A: A stick.

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Why didn't the boy eat his soup? It was to hot.

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what do you call a white man in a black neighborhood a minority

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Why did the chiken cross the road? To bite a rubarb stick.

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Roses are red, violets are blue, Gee, I wish I could partake in even the first two lines of this stanza, but alas, I have colourblindness.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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