Why was the Jew sad Because it was Christmas.

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This boy. We shall call him George. George was skating down the street when he passed the market. George stopped and looked in when he saw this SWEET pair of shoes! They were priced for 20 bucks. So George rushed home and went to his dad who was mowing the lawn. "DAD DAD!" "what?" The dad said. "I FOUND THESE SWEET PAIR OF SHOES! Can you lend me 20 bucks?" His dad shook his head and George ran inside the house and went up to his mom who was washing the dishes. "Mom can you lend me 20 bucks for these sweet shoes?" His mom just looked at him funny and said, "No". Angry, George set off upstairs to his sister's room who was on the computer. "Sis can you lend me...." "GET OUT OF MY ROOM!!" She slammed the door in his face. George sighed and went to his room. But before he got to his door, he saw a 20 dollar bill on the floor. He picked it up and rushed to the store. Once he got the shoes he ran back home to his dad. "Dad DAD! Look at these.." He stopped and saw his dad that was under the lawnmower dead. George shrugged and went inside to his mom. "Mom mom! Look at these...." He stopped and saw that his mom was stuffed in the dishwasher, dead. George sighed and ran upstairs to show his sis. "Hey sis look at...." She was found with her head in the computer screen, dead. So George sighed and walked down to the living room. He plumped on the couch and wondered about how his family died. Then there was a knock on the door. George hesitated. It knocked again. He got up and went to the door. Opened it and out stood a penguin. He stared at the penguin. "What do you want?!" The penguin stared back. What did he say?????? Nothing penguins can't talk.

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im passing this on from a friend: 2 blondes walk into a building, you think one woulda saw it,

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Why did the cops beat up rodney king? Resisting arrest.

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How many Jews can you fit into a car? Depending on the size of the car, you should be able to safely fit somewhere between 2 and 8.

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"Never trust what the internet says." - Abraham Lincoln

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What's worse then a missed call from your dad? A missed call from your mom.

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Why was Jimmy sad? Because he has a frog stapled to his forehead

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knock knock. Whos there? YELLOW PEOPLE

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Who do u talk to when everyone is ignoring you? Nobody will talk to you so what's the point?

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What's worse than nailing 10 babies to one tree? nailing 1 baby to ten trees.

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Why did blonde cross the road? She needed to get to work.

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Did you hear about the three black guys who got run over by a car? No? Neither did Ray Charles!

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This is a joke about Helen Keller. "Knock knock" "Who's there?

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Why was Jesus Christ white? Because it would be a lot better if I had more confidence in myself...

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What’s brown and hairy? Brown hair.

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TIMMY

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Q: how many babies does it take to paint a house red? A: It Depends on how hard you throw them

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My children are mistakes

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What happened to the black guy that rammed his ankle against the bed frame? Yelled profusely until it stopped hurting.

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A: Knock Knock B: (No Reply) Nobody is home and the man trying to get in will come back later and try again.

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What do you call a cow painted in red a cat ( PS : i lied about the cow + the paint ! )

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Why did the squirrel fall out of the tree? -- Because it was dead Why did the monkey fall out of the tree? -- Because it was stapled to the squirrel

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How do you find out a chinese's name? Ask him/her

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

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The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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