With all due respect, I do underestimate myself, there is not a single person I know that has not told me that, but if I wanted to, I would not even had to make the effort to have you removed, hell I had to pull favors and owe people things in order to keep you safe. I could have said the rest of you, but had I not known you, had you not been one of my co-workers back then, I would not have gone to the extremes that i did, you are beautiful, but what does that have to do with anything? Do you think that if I did not know you I would go "that one is sexy, release her?" Even if I did, I do not have authority, I work for them.

thumb_up thumb_down -54

Do you like fishsticks? Ya, me too.

thumb_up thumb_down -58

what did the palatiespussy say to the asain how many cocaines did i say was a black pankakkkke MMMFUUCCK NORDSTRUM(CUM)

thumb_up thumb_down -58

Q. Why did the teacher trip and fall? A. Because his left foot was gnawed off by a camel, and he often finds it difficult to walk.

thumb_up thumb_down +59

Q: Why did the Westboro Baptist Church picket the gay marine’s funeral? A: Homosexuals are a plague sent by Satan to destroy the fabric of America.

thumb_up thumb_down +43

A black man, a Mexican man, a white man, an Asian man, a priest, a rabbi, and a prostitute walk into a bar. It was a very popular bar.

thumb_up thumb_down +39

Roses are red, Violets are glorious, Don't try to surprise Oscar Pistorius.

thumb_up thumb_down +37

Three men were on a plane. One chucked an apple out the window. Unfortunately, due to the low pressure outside, all the men were sucked out the window.

thumb_up thumb_down +37

Why was six afraid of seven? Because seven was black.

thumb_up thumb_down +37

Two fuses wearing bombs for hats were sitting on a bench with their frayed feet dangling on the ground. A match was walking along and tripped, hitting it's head on the ground and bursting into flame. Luckily the fuses had finished lunch by that time and gone back to work. Unluckily for the match it died from burns to 80 percent of it's body.

thumb_up thumb_down +37

What doesn't kill you leaves you in a coma.

thumb_up thumb_down +37

What is a frogs favorite drink? Water.

thumb_up thumb_down +37

CNN has posted that the recent death of osama bin laden is comparable to decapitating a snake when really it is more akin to bisection of a worm.

thumb_up thumb_down +35

Have you ever tripped over a leaf? No. Neither have I.

thumb_up thumb_down +35

Why was 6 afraid of 7? 7 was black.

thumb_up thumb_down +35

A man is sleeping and is woken up. What does he say? Why did you wake me up

thumb_up thumb_down +35

A woman stopped making sandwiches.

thumb_up thumb_down +35

What did the black man in a white van get when he went over the speed limit? A speeding ticket

thumb_up thumb_down +35

Why did the woman stop making a sandwich for her husband? Because he's dead.

thumb_up thumb_down +33

Why did the depressed man commit suicide? Its typical of a depressed person.

thumb_up thumb_down +33

What is the difference between my dog and my girlfriend? I love my dog

thumb_up thumb_down +33

Knock knock. Who's there? The police, you murdered ten people.

thumb_up thumb_down +33

What's white and horny? A unicorn

thumb_up thumb_down +33

what's worse than people who aren't funny? ryan vallee

thumb_up thumb_down +31

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...


Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops