Why was the boy sad? Because his pet bird couldn't fly. Why couldn't the bird fly? Because it was dead.

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What happens when you lay a diamond in the water for two hours? It gets wet.

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a black man walks into a shop, he buys his groceries, then leaves...

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A: What's that on your shoulder? B: A birthmark. A: How long have you had it? B: Don't know.

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Your mommas so dumb she had to climb a glass wall to see what was on the other side! But the glass was slippy so she never saw what was on the other side.

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a lady says, " i cant stand this." Th guy next to her had his legs blown off and will never be able to stand again.

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Why did the turtle take so long on his run? Because he never went on a run he walked.

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what do mexicans cross? whatever they want. but in this case their local grocery store parking lot to buy fresh produce.

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When life gives you lemons You've got some lemons.

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Whats the hardest part of a vegetable to eat?? The WheelChair

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" Want to hear a good anti-joke?! " " Sure! " " Me too. "

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What starts with "F" and ends with "UCK"? Fuck.

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Parents were talking about a particular whore house and tries to keep it secret to their son. Father: Bob and I saw the house near the river, its a whore house full of prostitutes. Mother: Shhh! Our son is listening. The Son enters the room. Son: Don't mind me, I know that area. Both parents were angry: So you've been there!? Don't deny, you know! Son: Just because I know doesn't mean I've been there. I know the moon has less gravity but I haven't been there.

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What do you call a midget driving a train? A conductor

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What's red and bad for your teeth A brick

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Why did Paul let Johnny choke to death? Because Paul had no arms.

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A fully grown cow walks into a man's house and says to him, "Hey, how have you been?" Traumatized by the vivid circumstances, the man falls to the floor and begins sobbing relentlessly until he passes out onto the floor from a violent mental breakdown.

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What is the difference between an anti-joke and a joke? The word anti before anti-joke.

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Knock Knock Who's there? My foot. My foot who? My foot in your ass.

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What's the difference between Neil Armstrong and Michael Jackson? Neil Armstrong walked on the moon and Michael Jackson appeared in court several times under charges of child molestation

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Hickory Dickory Dock, Three mice ran up the clock, the clock struck 1, and the other 2 escaped with minor injuries

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asdasdasdasd

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What did the black kid get for Christmas? Your bike.

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Why did the chicken cross the road? It didn't. It was struck by a car and killed instantly by the impact.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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