what is black and green and rainy all over? the democratic republic of congo

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You know what topping goes bad with ice cream? Chloroform

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Roses are red, Violets are microwaves, I have amnesia, Roses are red.

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"Knock knock," said the guy about to deliver a knock knock joke.

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Two black guys were walking down a street to meet up a local drug dealer. Turns out the black guys were undercover cops who arrested the drug dealer and both recieved awards for finding the criminal.

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Bill went into a store and bought a bagel. However, after eating it, he realizes he meant to buy a doughnut. He tells the cashier that he meant to order a doughnut, and asks for his money back. The cashier says no and the man leaves.

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What do you call a guy with a car on his head? Immediate identification would not be possible. The man would be referred to by his estimated demographics. Circumstantial evidence and dental reports may be required for identification at which points the family's would be notified. Only after this will the man's name would be released to the media who would in turn report this.

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(waving left hand) Why doesn't Queen Elizabeth wave with this hand? Why? Because this is my hand.

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Roses are red, Violets are blue, Which is rather deceiving, Considering that the name 'violet' should naturally insinuate that the object it is describing is violet as well. Violet as a color is generally a deep shade of purple. Therefore, shouldn't the aforementioned plant, the 'violet', be violet in color as opposed to the blue color that is most widely accepted by the general populous?

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Why was the boy laughing at Sally? Because Sally was a man

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Three guys walk into a bar: a Priest, a rapist, and a pedophile...and two other guys

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justin beiber is having intimate sex with a woman.

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Why do all black men carry guns? They don't. That is a stereotype. Now pants on the other hand, that's a different story.

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how do you make a plumber sad? tell him to pull up his pants

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why did the mexican cross the road? to get to the lawn mowing shop becuase his wife has breast cancer, and he cant pay the bills sitting on his butt and getting a check from the government every month

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What does an Asian person with 3 eyes have? A birth defect.

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What does a spider Pig do? Nothing. They dont exist.

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Whats the best part about having sex with 25 year olds? There 20 of them.

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Why wasn't the black man served at the bar? Because they didn't serve his kind there... Did I say black guy? I meant to say a horse, wait, did I say bar? I meant the barn, yes, a horse walks into a barn but they couldn't serve him because he wasn't tamed

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What's John Lennon doing these days? Decomposing.

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Persond A: A guy blows himself and his family up with a hand grenade Person B: HEY!!! Thats not funny thats how my family died

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Why did the student fall asleep during class? He was very tried from staying up too late.

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Q: Why did the monkey fall out of the tree? A: Because it was sick and tired of all the repeated monkey jokes and commited suicide and preceded to fall out of the tree.

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How many lesbians does it take to change a lightbulb? One. But after she does this, se will probably have sex with another woman

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

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