Yo mama so short she often has to ask you to retrieve items from the top shelf of her cabinet.

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Who won the race between the turtle and the hare? Well, odds are the two creatures wouldn't race given that animals do not speak. However, if they were, the hare would most likely win a land race because of its powerful legs and agility. However, if the turtle happened to be a seaturtle and the race took place underwater, our dear little beloved turtle would win, having the advantage over the rabbit.

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what do you call an animal thats black and white and red all over? an elephant

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Did you hear about the guy that had his entire left side cut off? He's all right now. Dead but all right.

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What did the mom tell her son who she caught masticating loudly? "Do it with your mouth closed!"

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what's worse than jamming a finger in a door the holocaust what's worse than the holocaust jamming 2 fingers in a door

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What do you call a fridge painted red and brown? A fridge.

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eyebrows up means ur flirting this isnt a joke dont laugh

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Why did the clown go to jail? He murdered a thirteen-year-old girl.

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A blond was walking alone down a street one night. Then she was suddenly mugged and raped. She reported her attacker but he was never caught.

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How did the girl cross the road? -She didn't, she died because she was blind and didn't see the "don't walk" sign.

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Last Christmas, I gave you my heart, and the very next day, I died because I didn't have a heart.

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How do you make a plumber cry? Kill his family.

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Today I wanted to make world peace.... So I killed everyone.

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Your momma's so fat, diet and exercise would probably save her life!

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why aren't black people real? they are. just because they are less visible at night makes no difference.

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Q: What do janitors and nuns have in common? A: They can't fly.

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Committing Suicide #YOLO

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Whats worse than biting into an apple and finding a worm? Biting into a worm and finding an apple.

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Knock Knock Who's there? Can you sign for this package? Certainly

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What was the racist kid's least favorite ice cream flavor? Chocolate for an unrelated reason.

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ok

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What's white and gluey Glue

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Q:why is walmart so big? A:Years ago a man named Sam Walton had a vision for one stop shopping and affordable low prices. And it goes without saying that being a one stop shop must mean you have a lot of inventory thus the size of Walmart is a lot larger to hold and support the increased mass of inventory .

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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