What's long hard and full of seman. A submarine.

what happens when you step on a bear trap? Alot of pain.

Why can't the orphan play baseball? He can't find home.

Why did the monkey fall out of the tree? It was dead. Why did the baby monkey fall out of the tree? It was stapled to the dead monkey. Why did the third monkey fall out of the tree? Peer pressure.

What's the difference between a duck?

My granddad fell down the stairs the other day... Yeh, we didn't find it very funny either.

Roses are red Violets are? blue Lets eat poo I know you want to

Two Muffins are in an oven the first Muffin says "whew it's hot in here." The other Muffin turns around and yells "Holy shit a talking Muffin."

Q: Why did the baby cry when it came out of the moms stomach? A: The doctor dropped it!

Why is Megan Fox so hot? Because the air conditioning broke.

How many babies does it take to paint a barn? It depends on how hard you throw them

One Direction has 12 letters. So does gayyyyyyyyyy. Coincidence? I think not.

Fact: 100% of people who drink alcohol will die.

What do you call a dog with no legs? Don't matter what you call him he ain't gonna come.

A guy walks into a bar, sits down, and gives a heavy sigh. The bartender asks, "What's wrong?" The guy says, "Nothing."

Q.what do you call a dead baby? A. a dead baby

What do you call a black woman working at a bar? A Bartender. What do you call an asian woman working at a bar? A Bartender.

Three Blondes were walking when they come upon some tracks. The first blonde says they're deer tracks. The second blonde says they're elk tracks. The last blonde says they're moose tracks. While they are all arguing about what type of tracks they are, they get hit by a train.

Roses are red Violets are blue Sunflowers are yellow And daisies can be a wide variety of colours.

- What would you say if you'll see a Mexican eating hamburger in fast-food restaurant? - Enjoy your meal.

Knock Knock Who's there Kevin Kevin who Kevin your friend dumbass

What did Woody say to Buzz? A lot. There were three movies.

A muslim and a jew walk into a bar. The muslim proceeds to detonate the bomb he had strapped to his chest, killing himself and dozens of bar patrons.

Why was a black man in a police car? He is a police officer.

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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