How many sheets did the Asian want on his bed? "You sheet on my bed I kill you!"

thumb_up thumb_down -16

what did the sock say to the shoe? Get your tongue off me.

thumb_up thumb_down -16

How does Moses like his tea? Hebrews it.

thumb_up thumb_down -16

A guy walks into a bar

thumb_up thumb_down -16

Once upon a time, in a magical kingdom, there were too many similar jokes on anti-joke.com. One man thought he could be funny by writing a joke that referenced this, and be even funnier by referencing what he was referencing. Then he referenced that, then that, and so on until the layers of meta caused his brain to explode. Some of it landed in your mother's vagina.

thumb_up thumb_down -16

What did you the blonde death amuptee child get for Christmas? Cancer.

thumb_up thumb_down -16

one stop shop

thumb_up thumb_down -16

Why did the little boy drop his ice cream? He got hit by a bus

thumb_up thumb_down -16

Why did the girl cry? She got hit by a bus.

thumb_up thumb_down -16

Why did the dog have no legs? Because its previous owner had cut them off.

thumb_up thumb_down -16

How did Helen Keller's parents punish her? They sent her to her room without dinner.

thumb_up thumb_down -16

Why did the skeleton cross the road? Because Apocalypse arrived and dead people now have the ability to walk.

thumb_up thumb_down -16

how do you wake up a cat? you break it.

thumb_up thumb_down -16

Me:hey paul did you see that story on the news? Paul:ya i did thats really crazy!

thumb_up thumb_down -16

Why did the man cross the road? His mother had recently passed away after a 12 year battle with lung cancer and is visiting her tombstone.

thumb_up thumb_down -16

why dont you throw rocks at a mexican on a bike? its unethical and can severely hurt the individual on the bike

thumb_up thumb_down -16

How did the boy fall off his bike? A fridge was thrown off him

thumb_up thumb_down -16

Why did the elderly lady cross the road? Because an atomic bomb was exploding behind her

thumb_up thumb_down -16

why was the man afraid of the tree? Because it ate his mother!!!!!!

thumb_up thumb_down -16

girl. have you seen my duck man. yes he is with me right now girl rely you have him man. yes in my diner girl. d.i.c.k. man.f u

thumb_up thumb_down -16

A class of kids were bouncing basketballs in class and a woman teacher comes in and says,"No balls in the classroom please." All the boys leave the class.

thumb_up thumb_down -16

You're so ugly, when yo' mama dropped you off at school, she kissed your forehead and called you beautiful.

thumb_up thumb_down -16

Sigh... I gotta go to night class studies okay?

thumb_up thumb_down -16

Knock knock. Who's there? Banana. Banana who? Banana Yoshimoto. A popular Japanese author of the book, Kitchen. She is incredibly talented and it would be a great honor to have her in your house, so you should open your door.

thumb_up thumb_down -16

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...


Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops