Why couldn't the man ever reach his dream of becoming a professional athlete? He was pronounced with Alzheimer at a young age and could never remember his dream the next day.

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Two chavs jump off a cliff, who wins? Neither. Leaving aside the fact that two people would jump off a cliff in any kind of competitive context is highly improbable, due to the laws of physics objects fall at the same speed and therefore both people would hit the ground at the same time, meaning that, unless either of them deployed a parachute mid way through, they would, in fact, be in a dead heat.

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What do you call a deer with no eyes? A blind deer.

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What's the one thing America's got but the UK hasn't... School shootings

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What's brown and sticky? Feces.

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What does a shortstop do when the ball is by third base? He leaves the field to go to the hospital, his little sister just had a heart attack.

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knock knock who's there? a dog ......dogs cant talk ..................

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What's the worst subject in school? None of them. You need school to get by in life. Get over it.

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whats worse than biting your apple and finding a worm? WWII.

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What did the frog say when it was attacked? Ribbit.

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What do the Irish do on their birthdays? Eat birthday cake and sing happy birthday

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How do you get a blonde to tell time? By asking her what time is it.

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A horse walks into a bar. The bartender says 'Why the long face?' The horse says 'My alcoholism is destroying my family.'

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Jack and Jill went up the hill. But it was winter and they froze to death

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Q: What is green, jumps and says i'm a frog? A: A frog that talks

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A Muslim man gets onto a transatlantic airliner. All the other passengers are privately nervous, but no one mentions it.

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Why did the chicken cross the road? He didn't, a car ran him over.

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chuck norris will never have a heart attack because he has great cardiovascular health.

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Why did the black dude die? Because everyone must die at some point.

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Why is bobsledding the coolest sport? Because this is my subjective opinion.

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Why did Sally fall off the swing. She had no arms. Knock Knock Who's there Not Sally

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How about that airplane food? Ive never been on a plane you tell me

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hey i just met you and this is crazy but here is my gun so get in the van

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ewrg

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops