alex is cool

whats green and lives in the water

Q: What did the police officer tell the man without a shirt on? A: Put a shirt on.

ohai. whutz en ahntei johk? sownz soopihd.

my friend got in a car wreck,he lost his left arm and left leg. how is he now? Hes all right.

What's big and white and wilbkill you if it falls from a tree? My dick.

Man I just flew in from Pittsburgh...Boy are the people ugly.

Jemal picks 3 apples. He eats two of them, and then picks 3 more. What color was Jamal?

Where is Jew University? Berlin, Germany

What do Chinese kids have that African kids dont? Chinese citizenship and at least one Chinese parent.

You know what's real bullshit? That stuff that comes out of a bull's ass.

Why did the Squirrel swim across the river upside down? To keep its nuts dry.

What did the homeless man get for Christmas? Frostbite. He died the following day.

What do you call a girl with no legs? Disabled.

a man walks into a bar. ouch. that must suck, but he should really look where he's going

roses are red, violets are are blue, I have five fingers, the middle one is for you

What is worse than finding your parents dead? You being charged for the crime.

A black man walks into a bar full of white people. And then... He orders his drink.

Why did the little girl miss 7 straight days of school? She died.

Why was the man crying? He just got called and the doctor confirmed he had AIDS.

Two scientists are working in a lab. The first one asks, "Do you want some sodium?" The second one pours acid into the first one's eyes.

Man :A homo-sexual panda walks into a gay bar. Homo-sexual Panda : Wait...wait I'm gonna stop you right there. I will not take part in this odd joke, so just ummmmmm ya. And another thing, my species is extremely offended by your inferior remarks. Why can't homosexual panda just have piece?

Jack and Jill went up the hill to fetch a pail of water, Jack fell down and broke his crown and Jill came tumbling after. They both died of blood loss.

Phoebe: Joey, it's a birthday party. Joey: Yeah, but for a one year old. What's the point? The other day, she laughed for like an hour at a cup. Just a cup with a picture of Elmo on it dressed as a farmer. And he's standing next to this cow. And the cow says...."Elmoooo!" Joey: *starts to laugh* Yeah...that's a funny cup.

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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