Friends are like potato, when you eat them die.

thumb_up thumb_down +13

What does a boy with no arms and no legs get for Christmas? Cancer.

thumb_up thumb_down +13

Why did the chicken taunt the opposing team? To get to the other side.

thumb_up thumb_down +13

why was the boy mad? He had a lot of homework that evening

thumb_up thumb_down +13

Why didn't the Mexican dwarf eat his taco? Well, he actually started, but he had already had one earlier. So, he gave half to his friend who gladly accepted the free taco.

thumb_up thumb_down +13

Why did Timmy mow the lawn? He didn't particularly like the way it looked Why did Timmy fall down the well? He is retarded and thirsty How did Timmy die? He had stage three lung cancer Why cant Timmy drive a car? He has been dead for three years

thumb_up thumb_down +13

What did the doctor say to the morbidly obese man? "You should get on a diet. It's a surprise you're even alive for so long with such a bad heart" The next day the man dies while eating celery.

thumb_up thumb_down +13

A man and wife were having a vacation when suddenly the man falls to the floor and starts having a seizure. The woman screams "Oh my God, is there a doctor in the house?!" Then a doctor appears and helps the man with the appropriate method of handling a seizure. The doctor says everything is going to be okay.

thumb_up thumb_down +13

Roses are red, violets are blue, you have a disease, it's called cancer.

thumb_up thumb_down +13

How can you tell if a man has an erection? His penis is no longer flaccid

thumb_up thumb_down +13

One time, I saw this guy on stilts and thought it would be hilarious if someone pushed him over. Then some guy pushed him over and broke his neck.

thumb_up thumb_down +13

Nock Nock Whose there? Your mom. Stop locking your door.

thumb_up thumb_down +13

The truth is he loves her!!

thumb_up thumb_down +13

What do you call a swimming pool full of black people? A family enjoying their holiday.

thumb_up thumb_down +13

Hitler wasn't such a bad guy. He did kill Hitler.

thumb_up thumb_down +13

What do elephants and grapes have in common? They are both purple arpart from the elephant, which is grey. I lied about it being purple

thumb_up thumb_down +13

Why did the old man die? He was old.

thumb_up thumb_down +13

What did the politician say to the other politician? We are both politicians.

thumb_up thumb_down +13

Whats worse than being fat? Being Rebecca Black

thumb_up thumb_down +13

What was so incredible about this bigger new oven i just bought? It could fit twice as many Jews in it. --ZeNaziGermanDoctor

thumb_up thumb_down +13

A man runs into a bar, sits down in a hurry and demands a beer from the bartender. The bartender looks at him wearily, but shrugs, pours him a beer and sets it down in front of him. The fat naked man then drinks the beer and leaves.

thumb_up thumb_down +13

What is a pedophile's favorite thing about twenty-six year olds? There are 20 of them.

thumb_up thumb_down +13

Knock Knock Who's there? Can you sign for this package? Certainly

thumb_up thumb_down +13

A black guy, a mexican, and an arab are all in the same car, Whos driving the car? The black guy because he politely offered and his friends were happy to ride with him.

thumb_up thumb_down +13

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...


Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops