A black, Kenyan man enters a race. He comes in second to last as he didn't practice as much as the other contestants.

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"Jim would you like to share what you've written?" says rehab counselor "Roses are red, Violets are blue, Heroin is bad, I see sound."

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A rabbi and a priest walk into a bar, they manage to have a delightful evening, despite their religious differences.

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You know you're dyslexic when life gives you melons.

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There were 3 men on a rough each granted one wish to make. The first guy sees a bird and runs and jumps off the ledge and wishes to be a bird and he flies away. The second guy sees a butterfly so he too runs and jumps off the ledge and wishes to be a butterfly and flies away. The third guy telling himself those were all stupid wishes, makes up his mind what he is going to wish for so he runs to the ledge and just after he says "I wish to be" he trips on the ledge and says, "shit!" So his wish was granted and shit he became. The End.

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What did the boy say when be landed in the bottom of the well, nothing he was dead.

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What did the raisin say to the toaster? Nothing. The raisin lacks a central nervous system, and the toaster is an inanimate object.

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Why did Jill fall off the swings? -Because she had no arms. Knock Knock? --Who's there? Not Jill. What did Jill get for Christmas? -What? I don't know. She couldn't open it.

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Person A: Knock Knock Person B: Who's there? Person A: It's the police, we have a warrant for your arrest. Open the door. Person B: It's the police, we have a warrant for your arrest, open the door wh-- Suddenly the door is smashed open. Tear gas grenades are rolled in, temporarily blinding Person B. He is then dragged out of his apartment by nine federal agents who proceed to beat him and throw him into the back of an FBI van.

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Did you hear the one about the guy who went his whole life without ever telling a joke? He was still funnier than David Letterman.

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Who let the dogs out? The dog's owner.

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Why was Sally in a wheelchair? Her abusive father beat her repeatedly with a rake.. Then as she crawled out the door to try and get help, the abusive father took his Dodge Ram and ran over her legs reapeatedly. Then began to slap her. Luckily, a vigilante saw the whole thing and slaughtered the father with an axe and carefully escorted Sally to the hospital. After a couple of weeks of beautiful and extraordinary care, Sally made a full recovery and was able to leave.. and all patients have to leave in a wheelchair

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yo mama's so fat because when women are pregnet thay gain weight for there child to feed on

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A white guy jumps over the fence belonging to a Mexican family

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Q: Why did the monkey fall out of the tree? A: Because it was dead. Q2: Why did the second monkey fall out of the tree? A2: It was nailed to the first one. Q3: Why did the third monkey fall out of the tree? A3: Peer pressure.

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A man named Chuck walks into a bar. One of the patrons says, "Oh my god! You're Walker, Texas Ranger!" Chuck replies, "No, that's Chuck Norris. I'm Chuck Connors. I played the Rifleman." The man replies, "Wait, aren't you dead?"

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why girl die cancer

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Pete and Repeat were on a boat. Pete jumped out, who was left? Pete, the boat blew up and instantly killed repeat

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What did red say to yellow? Move over orange is coming now.

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Want to hear something funny? Sure, what? 9/11

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For every person with a broken heart, there is another person out there with a stapler <3 And that person really needs to staple their math papers together so they can turn them in.

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Why is a cookie like a jellyfish? Because it has no bones. (Contributed by my 4-year old boy)

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What's Hitler's favorite beverage? Soda! Not Juice (jews) you asshat!

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A boy kills DEER & cooks it & doesn't tell friends what it is. He gives a clue "Its what my girlfriend calls Me!..

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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