Your momma's so fat, she died on the operating table during her bypass surgery.

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Aye I heard somethin about yo mom WAT!!!!!!!!! She a bop

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One scientist is talking to another scientist. One say "what's the matter?" The other replies "my family is dead"

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roses are red ur face is too and if u r hot my penis is going in u

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A panda walks into a restaurant, sits down and orders a sandwich. After he finishes eating the sandwich, the panda pulls out a gun and shoots the waiter, and then stands up to go. "Hey!" shouts the manager. "Where are you going? You just shot my waiter and you didn't pay for your sandwich!" The panda yells back at the manager, "Hey man, I am a PANDA! Look it up!" The manager's heart skipped a beat, and he locked himself inside his office, trembling with fear and confusion. Yes, it was plausible that a beast such as that could point to a random entry on the menu, and it was physically possible for it to pull the trigger of the gun (and, at such close proximity to the waiter, it would be pretty hard to miss him), but it was shocking and altogether disturbing to hear such an animal speak in human language, much less vernacular English.

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Arnold Schwarzenegger at Terminator: Gaynysis (or whatever I wont bother checking that out) YA NEED TO REMUV THE QUANTANAMO TRANSLACATOR TO RELOCALIZAYSEE THE INTERDEEMENENTIONAL MAYTREX! Yes, Pops but what about the time travel Paradox? YOU NEEED TO REMOV THE CRISTAL PALARDOXAL WARCALIBREITOR IN ORDA TO DESINSTONYSE THE DEEMENTIAL CORDALOXEY! Me: *Leaving the cinema* Moral: If you thought the trailer was like "meh", then you will soon realize it was the best part off the movie... The only part that is meh, and while I can honestly say I dont understand shit about how timelines work in Terminator (The creators dont do it either) Having Arnold Fucking Swartsnigger go with the Geek lingo DID ABSOLUTELY NOTHING! To explain things to me, NOTHIIIIING!

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Why isn't eating an Olympic sport? Because that wouldn't make any sense.

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Q: Why did the chicken cross the road? A: The farmer decided it was too cruel to fence in the animal, however getting run over by a car was a fate... not worse than death because it died.

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guy walks into a bar. other guy says to him, "are you blind"? "yes", he answered.

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How many women does it take to screw in a lightbulb? ...get back in the kitchen, I'm hungry

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Your mom is so environmentally conscious, she recycles a great deal.

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jd and zach loves vigina

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Why did the chicken cross the mobia strip? To get to the same side!

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A man wanted to kill himself.. He did.

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Your mumma is so fat, she has diabetes.

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A man walks into a bar and orders four shots. Before the bartender asks "If it really is that bad of a day". The man says "Yea I need this shit". The next day the bar is overwhelmed with police and investigators. The bartender had emptied a revolver in the tired business man's face and vanished.

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while having sex, the boy asked, "how many ears do elephants have?" his father answered, "two"

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A miserable man committed suicide.

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Knock, knock. Who's there? Boo. Boo who? Boo Radley, I live next door.

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Why was everyone screaming bloody murder? Their home team won

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What's black and white and red all over? Nothing, it is impossible for something to be red all over if there is black and white also.

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why did the chicken cross the road? to get to the other side.

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Roses are red Violets are blue Thats what they tell me because I'm blind

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i am an arrow and i did not hit your knee!f

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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