A dyslexic man walks into a bar. His own feelings of inadequacy over his learning disability have driven him to drink and is driving a wedge between him and his family

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Why was Timmy sad? While helping his dad hang Christmas light, he got tangled up in them and fell down. While falling he grabbed a wire, which caused a spark. This spark lit the house on fire. Since he broke most of the bones in his body from falling he could not run away. The house proceeded to collapse an poor Timmy seriously injuring and hideously disfiguring him. By the time the ambulance got there, Timmy was the only survivor for his parents died of smoke inhalation. Since he had no other living relatives he was forced to live in an orphanage for the rest of his childhood. That is why Timmy is sad.

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A man is in a bar with a drink A lorry driver come in a gulp the guys drink down The man starts crying the lorry driver says"don't cry I will buy you another" The guy says "it's not that: Today I woke up late for work and when I finally got there my boss fired me so I get in my car to go home and it wont start so I walk home while it's raining and when I got in I found that my wife was sleeping with the gardener so I came down here and asked for some poison and you went and drank it"

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Why did the African boy die? He was denied any antibiotics to heal his severe case of mono and AIDS, and was living on dirty water and dirt.

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A young blind boy is being tucked into bed by his mother. The mom says "Now Billy, pray really hard tonight and tomorrow, your wish will come true!". Billy says, "Ok mommy." and goes to sleep. The next morning, Billy wakes up and screams "MOMMY! I'm still blind, my wish didn't come true!", the mom answered, "I know - April Fools!"

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What did the man say after jumping into a well? He didn't say anything because he died instantly after jumping head first into a dry, 20 foot well. His family mourned for three days.

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A redhead walks into a bar. The bartender asks him if he wants a drink. He says yes.

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Guy 1 : "I like your hat." Guy 2: "That's my hair, you moron."

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What's clear on the outside and grey on the inside? An elephant in a plastic bag.

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i had a black friend once......just kidding

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Did u know that every 60 seconds in Africa a minute passes by?

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wow i bet grass is lucky on st patricks day. why? becuase its green all year. *smacks* ow. i kno. but hey im corn.

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Why can't Anne Frank write a sequel? Because she's dead.

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you know what? CHICKEN BUTT. butt of chicken ahahahaa

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What did the legless veteran get for christmas, The same grenade that blew up his legs.

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you see theres this guy.

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What do you call a green blur in the sky? Super pickle?

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Guy 1: Where's your dog Guy 2: I Dunno Guy 1: I ate it

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He who laughs last gathers no moss.

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why Is the teen's sock crusty? he stepped in the glue that his little sister was using for her art project.

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What is a dyslexic mathematician's favourite song? Angels. [L]

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How did the boy get a bruise? His mum threw a fridge at him! How did the boy get a big graise? He got mulched! Why did the boy get molested? Because he was naked in Mr. Molestogiacomo's house!

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what did the boy with no arms or legs get for christmas? a bike

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Boy: Hey girl, the voices in my head tole me to come over and talk to you. Girl: ... *walks away*

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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