Have you ever tried grabbing a bottle of 7-up free and walked away with it? Moral: If it says its free, its free ffs!

thumb_up thumb_down -16

Roses are red, VIolets are blue, Tulips are white, Sunflowers are yellow

thumb_up thumb_down -16

A man walks into a bar. Three weeks later he gets a liver transplant.

thumb_up thumb_down -16

How many Ethiopians can you fit in a car? Five in your standard sedan

thumb_up thumb_down -16

LO AND BEHOLD!

thumb_up thumb_down -16

What Did Charles Manson Do For a Klondike Bar? He Bought One

thumb_up thumb_down -16

What do you call a person with 4 arms? A normal person. (fore arms) (meant to be audible)

thumb_up thumb_down -16

Did you hear about that creepy guy on Facebook? He was un-friended

thumb_up thumb_down -16

dyslexia is like gingervitus except they are exactly alike in possible little ways with gigantic raging boners CC

thumb_up thumb_down -16

How do you kill batman? you stab him through the heart

thumb_up thumb_down -16

Roses are red Violets are blue I'm a schizophrenic And so am I

thumb_up thumb_down -16

Why did Billy fall off the tree? Why? Because he had no arms or legs. Knock knock! Who's there? Not Billy

thumb_up thumb_down -16

One Direction???? Gifted singers???? HA HA HA

thumb_up thumb_down -16

What did the elf say to Santa I'm not making any more toys fat ass.

thumb_up thumb_down -16

A new born baby is left alone in his crib after a long day of playing, He gets taken out of his crib for his first meal with his grandparents, he is excited, His grandparents come in and after the usual praising of the child they sit down for dinner, They are having chicken, His mother puts the spoon to his mouth, He chews it and swallows it, It gets stuck in his throat and he suffocates and dies.

thumb_up thumb_down -16

A man walks into a bar. He then walks out of the bar a while after. He then goes home and goes to bed. And then he goes to sleep. And then in an odd time travel paradox,a T-Rex arrives from the past and kills him and his entire family.

thumb_up thumb_down -16

Yo mama is so old, she might die soon! - Louis

thumb_up thumb_down -16

Knock knock Who's there? Guess who. You have 4 options: A. Jeremy Stevens B. Donald Jefferson C. Richard Gillespie D. Paul Faggot Um A? Nope, the correct answer is D. Paul Faggot Oh hi Paul, come in.

thumb_up thumb_down -16

What did the pear say to the apple? Fred, you delusions are getting worse and i'm getting a divorce.

thumb_up thumb_down -16

How many babies can you fit in a blender? None, the blender is too small. Also it is illegal to kill a baby infant because they are considered human. You can get life in prison or the death penalty for committing such a heinous crime.

thumb_up thumb_down -16

Doctor: I'm sorry about your disease, young man. It looks like your time is up. Man: NO! How much time to I have? Doctor: Five. Man: Five years? Five months? Five weeks? Doctor: Four... Three...

thumb_up thumb_down -16

What do you call an anti joke that's not funny? Non-existent.

thumb_up thumb_down -16

A man walks into the doctor's office and says "Doc my leg really hurts when I poke it like this." The doctor replies, "Yes, that is a knife."

thumb_up thumb_down -16

What's the best way to make people notice you? Begin a cult that follows some crazy religious division and go on mass murdering sprees, looting, murdering, and raping everything that moves. Your prime targets should be schools, orphanages, and hospitals (maternity wards for bonus points). Eventually, walk up to the FBI unarmed and have them capture you. Then demand that you get interviewed, as you have instructed your followers that if you don't get to speak on public television, they will bomb multiple major cities. When they put you on TV, simply stare at the camera and say: "Senpai. The time has finally come for you to notice me." Then, because you are a cruel, heartless bastard with no morals whatsoever, have your men bomb the major cities anyway. Have fun!

thumb_up thumb_down -16

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...


Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops