your face

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How did the black guy survive from drowning? Years of Swimming lessons at his local YMCA

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LO LLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLOLOLOLOLOLOLOLOOPLOLOLOLOLOLOLOLOLOLOLOOLOLOLOLOLOLOLOLOLOLOLOLOLOLOLOOLLOLOLOLOLOLOLOOO O O O O O O OLO LOL OL O LO LO LO L OL -LOL GUY

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What do you call a middle-aged Polish man on Skype? A lonely man.

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How did the carpenter do on his exam? Poorly so his parents killed him.

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How do you wake up lady gaga? poke her face.

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why are black people scared of chain saws? because it goes runnigganigganiggarunnigganigganigga

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Like if you have a vagina. Also like if you have a dong. (Penis)

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What's worse than finding a worm in an apple? Finding out that your girlfriend is really a drag queen and that that is why you have never had sex. -Harrison

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A man walks into an illegal brothel. He is a cop. He takes them back to the police station and questions them in a completely asexual manner.

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what did the one girl say to the other girl? i like your shoes.

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roses are blue violets are red heres a gun now your dead

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A red-head, a brunette and a blond are trapped on an island 10km from civilization. The red-head swims 1.5km's, but is to tired, so she swims back to the island. The brunette swims 3km's, but is too tired, so she swims back to the island. After watching the first two fail, the blond evaluates the situation and decides that she does not possess the swimming ability required to reach the 5km point (At which swimming back to the island becomes equally as far as swimming to civilization), and instead stays on the island and creates a signal fire out of bits of debris scattered on the island, getting rescued within hours.

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Why do turtles walk slow? They are physically incapable of walking fast.

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What's 9+10 Ebola

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Contrary to the popular saying, "An apple a day keeps the doctor away," if you get cancer there's nothing an apple can do...

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How can you tell a baby lost it's voice? It doesn't scream when you staple it to a ceiling fan and turn it on.

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Hickory dickory dock, The mouse ran up the clock, Barbara called the exterminator, Who killed all 10 of them.

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Did you know: it is scientifically proven that people who have more birthdays live longer

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Jack wasn't nimble. Jack wasn't quick. Jack sat on the candle and burned his corduroys.

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what do you call a clown in makeup? a clown, clowns are supposed to wear makeup.

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What happens when you give a guinea pig a cherry? He turns into satan.

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Why did Timmy fall down the stairs Because he is blind and I pushed him

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What's better then one dead baby in a tub? Many things a dead baby is a tragedy.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops