Wife: "I suggest you check properly next time you lose your keys so that you find them quicker" Husband: "I suggest that next time I sit down and have a beer while I wait for Doc Martin and his time machine to give my keys back.

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Q. Why did Sally fall off the swing? A. She had no arms. Knock knock. Who's there? Not Sally.

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Boy it's sure cold out today. Die

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What do you call a mouse having sex? A spouse.

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What do you call a black salesman? A salesman, you racist.

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Q.sam is 18 years old, why can't she get her licence? A.because Sam is a lost dog on the street

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"My CiOCK is bigger!" "No! My CiOCK is bigger!": Two gamec.ock owners arguing over who has a bigger DiICK.

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The Big Band Theory

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Q:Why did the Grape divorce the Prune? A:Because he was tired of Rasin kids! :D

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What was the only thing the little boy from tanzania had? AIDS.

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You know what's funnier than 24? 25

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What's the difference between bird flu and swine flu? If you have bird flu, you need tweetment. If you have swine flu, you need oink-ment.

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Awesome! I've just received my free minecraft giftcode! >> minecraftnow.us <

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Roses are red Violets are blue I kinda have a bad memory What are we doing again?

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wat did one chicken say to the other bock bock

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Guess what sucks! A Vaccume. Guess what blows! A Sucky Vaccume.

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Why did a black man enter a KFC? Because he had been in town a while and had grown hungry over the period of walking around, and decided he should get some food to satisfy his hunger so he may continue his journey around town. The fact he entered KFC is purely coincidental, as he could've easily decided to go to a different eatery, but it just so happens that the closest one was a KFC.

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Why was the fat man crying? He was sentenced to the electric chair for a murder he didn't commit.

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Three blind mice. See how they run. Into things.

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Knock Knock Whos there? Rivkee Rivkee who? RIVKEEEEE FIRETRUCK!

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Why doesnt Squidward wear pants? Because he likes to hang loose

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What did a Chinese man say to the other Chinese man? I don't know, I don't speak Chinese.

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What's worse than finding a worm in your apple ? Finding an apple in your worm !!! ... Wait, what ?

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A pony goes to the doctor saying his throat hurts, the doctor sais "oh I know, your a little hoarse". The pony replies, no I'm not ass-hole I have strep throat.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops