A: Why did the chicken cross the road? B: Why? A: To get to your house. A: Knock-knock B: Whose there? A: The chicken!

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What's better then one dead baby in a tub? Many things a dead baby is a tragedy.

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How can you tell a baby lost it's voice? It doesn't scream when you staple it to a ceiling fan and turn it on.

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Knock knock Who's there? Mike Mike who? Mike Davis from across the street. Come in.

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Did you know: it is scientifically proven that people who have more birthdays live longer

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What did the muffin, say to the other muffin? Nothing. Because muffin's are inanimate objects, therefore incapable of speech, or any other sentient action. They baked quietly until the man who was baking them came to the conclusion they were fit for consumption, devoured them, and went on with his day.

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Why did Timmy fall down the stairs Because he is blind and I pushed him

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A red-head, a brunette and a blond are trapped on an island 10km from civilization. The red-head swims 1.5km's, but is to tired, so she swims back to the island. The brunette swims 3km's, but is too tired, so she swims back to the island. After watching the first two fail, the blond evaluates the situation and decides that she does not possess the swimming ability required to reach the 5km point (At which swimming back to the island becomes equally as far as swimming to civilization), and instead stays on the island and creates a signal fire out of bits of debris scattered on the island, getting rescued within hours.

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guy walks into a bar, ouch

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Contrary to the popular saying, "An apple a day keeps the doctor away," if you get cancer there's nothing an apple can do...

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what did the one girl say to the other girl? i like your shoes.

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Why do turtles walk slow? They are physically incapable of walking fast.

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What's 9+10 Ebola

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Jack wasn't nimble. Jack wasn't quick. Jack sat on the candle and burned his corduroys.

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roses are blue violets are red heres a gun now your dead

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whats worse than getting ran over by a car seeing your mum having sex

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A man walks into an illegal brothel. He is a cop. He takes them back to the police station and questions them in a completely asexual manner.

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Knock Knock. Not home.

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Hickory dickory dock, The mouse ran up the clock, Barbara called the exterminator, Who killed all 10 of them.

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Sugar is sweet. Plums are too. Prison rape isn't funny either.

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telling real jokes on anti-joke is a form of anti jokes

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what did the man say to his wife? I love you

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why did the teenaged girl cry? she was about to have an abortion

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You wanna know what's totally out of this world? The moon.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops