Why do beavers have flat tails? They don't know but their relatives certainly get upset

thumb_up thumb_down +13

Your Mom is so fat, that she went to the doctor's and they told her that she was overweight and needed to get a stomach staple in order to make her lose weight

thumb_up thumb_down +13

How much wood can a wood chuck chuck if a wood chuck could chuck wood? The Holocaust

thumb_up thumb_down +13

Q. What do birds and a mouse have in common... A. Nothing there two different species

thumb_up thumb_down +13

What do you say when you see a black guy? Hello,how are you today?

thumb_up thumb_down +13

joke hahhahahah where did u find that joke, on the internet

thumb_up thumb_down +13

Your momma is so ugly... Yeah, yeah, yeah my momma's ugly, but guess what, at least I'm not an orphan asshole.

thumb_up thumb_down +13

Why did the girl scream? She was being raped.

thumb_up thumb_down +13

What do you call a black man flying a plane? The pilot. You racist.

thumb_up thumb_down +13

What's worse than finding a worm in your apple? A worm in your intestinal tract.

thumb_up thumb_down +13

Why was 6 afraid of 7? Because 7 was involved in a homicide at the Children's Hospital resulting in death row right away and was involved in the killing of 12 other numbers on last Tuesday.

thumb_up thumb_down +13

what do you say to your girlfriend just after the best sex you ever had? I really got great value for money tonight with my prostitute sweety. You should have been there

thumb_up thumb_down +13

5 little monkeys jumping on the bed 1 fell off and broke it's skull. Momma told the doctor and the doctor said,"Your a bad mom."

thumb_up thumb_down +13

A Blonde, Brunnette, and red head are on the beach. They find a sand gene and are each granted a wish. The Brunnette wishes for a yot. The Red Head wishes to never again get sun burn. The Blonde wishes for more sun. The world is overtaken and insinerated by the sun. An alien spaceship finds the Red head in a space suit floating around randomly when they ask how she survived she says "I don't sun burn"

thumb_up thumb_down +13

Whats worse than finding a worm in your apple? Getting your car repossessed.

thumb_up thumb_down +13

Why did Suzy fall off the swing? As Suzy neared the ground while swinging, her foot caught a small hole in the swingset's pebble foundation, and the power of Suzy's momentum along with the sudden stop of Suzy's swing forced Suzy to fly forward off of the swing. Suzy, seeing the silliness of her mistake, laughed it off, and tried to get back up. She quickly realized that her leg had snapped in half. Suzy will never walk again.

thumb_up thumb_down +13

How many Terry Pratchetts does it take to change a lightbulb? To get to the other side.

thumb_up thumb_down +13

What does an elephant and a grape have in common? One of them is purple.

thumb_up thumb_down +13

Why do you call a person who spits in your cheeseburger? A mean person

thumb_up thumb_down +13

Q:Why did the little girl jump in the pool and drown? A:because she didn't know how to swim

thumb_up thumb_down +13

What's brown and smells of chocolate? Chocolate or something dipped in chocolate but that might also smell of something else - like bananas.

thumb_up thumb_down +13

what do you call a dumb blonde with no arms? Her name because she will not respond to anything else

thumb_up thumb_down +13

knock knock whos there? aids aids who? aids aids who? i dont go away

thumb_up thumb_down +13

what did the super popular, beautiful girl say to her stalker? i dont know, i wasnt the stalker.

thumb_up thumb_down +13

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...


Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops