A baby seal walks into a club. I happens to be that the club is having their bi-annual PETA meeting, and the baby seal is chosen as the organization's new mascot. After touring the nation and meeting important world leaders, the baby seal still wonders why there was a club at the North Pole.

Q-How do you kill an elephant? A- An elephant gun Q- How do you kill a blue elephant? A- A blue elephant gun Q- How do you kill a red elephant? A- Strangle it until it turns blue then use a blue elephant gune Q- How do you kill a purple elephant? A- Don't be ridiculous purple elephants don't exist

why couldn't the girl sit down? she didn't have a butt.

Apirl showers bring... Tornadoes that kill families

What's black and white and read all over? Half a zebra.

You see this dick stop being a spick now suck on my wee wee u prick

Why was Chris crying? There was a robbery at his house and both of his parents were brutally murdered.

Q: What is harder than cleaning off baby bloodstains off a wall? A: Cleaning multiple baby blood stains off a wall.

An alligator was found wearing a vest. The investigator had no comment... As alligators are incapable of speech. ^^^

Why did the accountant die?A terrorist put a bomb under his desk.

why do you put a baby in the blender feet first to see its expression

Two egyptian soccerclubs are playing, what's the score? Over 70 dead

What's worse than ants in your pants? Uncles.

Why are the black people in Africa dying? Because the poverty rate is high and they don't have enough money to by simple things like medicine and mosquito nets to prevent AIDS, Malaria, and other infectious diseases.

What did the man say to the prostitute? Can I pay you to come with me to a cheap motel and partake in sexual intercourse with me?

Your mamas so stupid, her IQ is lower than the average person of her age group.

roses are red voilets are red bushes are red trees are red HOLY SHIT MY GARDENS ON FIRE!!!!!!

Believing in God may be a sign of autism Kappa

What has four legs and rocks? Your baby kitten that just got stoned to death.

What do you call a boomerang that doesn't come back? A stick

Why does the Pentagon have twice as many toilets built as is legally obliged? Racial segregation

Q: What do you call a man with a spade in his head? A: An ambulance.

Whats funnier than watching the kid next to you on the computer? Nothing because he is still trying to figure out that i unplugged his mouse!

Why did the monkey fall out of the tree? It was dead.

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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