What happened when the little girl said Bloody Mary 3 times in the dark? - She got her head smashed in the mirror, all of her intestines were neatly ripped out and was stabbed to death with No.2 mechanical pencils. Then her parents came home from dinner to find their daughter brutally killed in her own room. They notified police, opened a case and gave up after 12 years of searching for her killer. Both parents cried for the amount of years their daughter had been gone and they both decided to kill each other. The father raped the mom while slitting the back of her neck that led to her head being detached. Then the father left his pick up truck running and through his head toward the engine, which didn't really work. So he went back inside and watched Three and A Half Men.

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what did johnny's dad say to him after his baseball game? nothing because johnny's dad was an abusive alcoholic who beat him until the neighbors found out and called the police. the dad was arrested, tried in court then promptly thrown in jail were he was raped in the showers repeatedly by a very large and intimidating black man. he vomited suicide in his cell today by drinking drain cleaner

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Why did I lose a card game to a cat? Cause he was a cheetah!

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Whats worse than finding a worm in your apple? getting your ball sack ripped off with a grapple hook

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what do you call a man that has a terminal illness and is named James - James

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Q: Why was the little boy late for school? A: His face was stapled to a wall.

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If a tree falls in the woods does it make a sound? It depends on how sound is defined

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How many morman minutes does it take to get to school? A lightyear

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Roses are red, Violets are glorious, Don't try to surprise Oscar Pistorius!

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Whats worse than finding a worm in your apple? Not having an apple

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How do you get 100 midgets into a mini? You have to manufacture a mini big enough to accommodate 100 midgets. It won't be street legal, but at least your problem with fitting the midgets in the mini is solved.

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What happens when two elephants go out in the rain? They get wet.

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Roses are red, Violets are blue, come at me again and I'll punch you

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Knock Knock Who did that?

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What's worse then your mouse running away? Getting hit by a plane

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Women's rights.

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Why can't girls count to seventy? Trick question. Clinical research has proven that a fair amount of girls are, in fact, capable of counting from one to seventy using ordinal numbers in the Arabic numeral system.

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Hurricane sandy should have been named hurricane snooki because it ruined the jersey shore

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Did you hear the joke about Helen Keller? No. You don't need to, it's quite inappropriate.

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Q: What did the shark say while eating the surfer A: Nothing, his mouth was full, and besides....sharks cannot talk.

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Whats Pink and fluffy? Yellow fluff thats been dyed pink :D

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Why did Bob fall off the swing? Because he had no arms. Knock Knock Who's there Obviously not Bob, Idiot What did Bob get for christmas? A glove Actually, I lie. He hasn't unboxed it yet.

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Why dont you greet your friend Jack on a plane? because you will say "hi Jack"

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bangers and mash?

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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