I always used bra`s so I guess you know, nice I guess. Can you please stop it? I like know I am telling but my mind wont like accept it, and I would just like to shut off the laptop, but I want to keep chatting with you for just a bit more.

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What's the difference between a leopard and a jaguar ? The rabbit flies faster, while the pigeon can breathe underwater.

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why did the pancake eat a spanish holiday? Because a plane crashed into his condominium

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knock knock who's there jehovas witness... ...I allow them into my house for a cup of tea and a chat as I respect their religion

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how do you make a plummer cry? you spell PLUMBER wrong

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Whats Funnier than a clown? Woman's Basketball.

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Why did the little girl pull her hair out? She didn't, It's a side-effect of the chemotherapy.

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Give a man a fish and he will eat for a day. Teach him how to fish.........That's a government lake. You're under arrest.

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What's worse than a pile of dead babies? The one at the bottom is alive. What's worse than that? He's eating his way out. What's worse than that? He came back for seconds.

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Why did the patient die of aids disorder? Butt sex. Lots and lots of butt sex.

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Eeny meeny miny mo, Catch a tiger by it's toe, If he hollers let him go, Because if you don't he would attack you and go straight for you're neck and you would die a painful death...

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What is worse than finding a worm in your apple? Finding a larger worm in your apple.

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Why did Justin Bieber cross the road? Because the chicken chose him as a decoy.

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A man and woman walk into a funeral home. They are both very sad about the loss of their father who they loved dearly.

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A blonde, redhead, and a brunette are chatting outside a casino. The brunette directs a joke towards the blonde. "What's the difference between cotton candy and pork chops?" The blonde has heard the joke prior to this encounter and correctly completes it with sign language because she is deaf.

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Roses are red violets are blue make me a sandwhich so i can eat it

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Customer: Waiter, waiter, there is a fly in my soup! Waiter: Sorry madam.

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Who's a tool and a NARC? Josh Brami!

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What is said about the man who is addicted to online gaming? He plays more than 5 hours per day and doesn't have any social contacts or whatsoever.

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Why did the chicken cross the road? To get to your house... Knock, knock Who's there? The chicken.

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3021 North Broadway Avenue

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why did marybeth fall off the swing i shot her in the fart box and she died

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There are two cows in a field. One cow says to the other - 'Are you afraid of the mad cow disease?' The other cow says - 'No, cuz I'm a duck.'

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why aren't doughnuts square? because they are round

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops