Two scientists walk into a bar. The first scientist says, "I'll have some H2O." The second scientist says, "I'll have H2O too." The bartender gives them both water, realizing that H2O2 is poisonous and that the second scientist must have simple worded his request poorly.

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What's worse than getting a bruise? AIDS.

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Why did the friendly not play outside? Because they were dead. Just like your dreams.

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What did the deaf, dumb, blind kid with two stump arms and no legs get for Christmas? Cancer

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A women left the kitchen.

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How do you drown a blonde? A: Drowing any person no matter the color of their hair is conpletely illegal and considered murder.

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Wanna know a Chuck Norris fact? He is 72 years old and likely to die soon

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toby limbers is gonna follow in his uncles footsteps, the gay ones

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One day a baby hit himself on the head with a stuffed animal. I lied, it was a brick, so he died.

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What's better than winning the special olympics? Not being retarded.

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A vampire sees a werewolf at a bar, aware of the upcoming brawl between them two, the bartender shoots them both in the head but it's okay because neither of them exist.

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Q: a man in a camry runs over his wife. who's fault is it? A: toyota and their breaks.

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Hello.

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A priest, a minister and a rabbi walk into a bar and the bartender says: "Where would you like to sit, gentlemen"?

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Whats red and goes round and round? A baby in the garbage disposal

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How do you get a girl to pay for food? You Rape Her

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What's the difference between a rhinoceros? I DIDN'T MURDER MY BROTHER OKAY!!!!!

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Q:your jetski loses a wheel. how many pancakes does it take to fix your house? A:blue berry icecream.

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why was 6 afraid of 7? Because ever since 3 died, 7 had changed. He had turned aggressive and randomly snapped and hit out at some of the other numbers for no apparent reason.

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How do you tell the difference between Lila and derrek ashmore? Oh wait they both have vaginas

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A woman gets on a bus with her baby. The bus driver says: "That's the ugliest baby that I've ever seen." The woman goes to the rear of the bus and sits down, fuming. She says to a man next to her, "That driver just insulted me!" The man says, "You go right up there and tell him off! Go ahead, I'll hold your monkey for you."

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What's worse than dropping an ice-cream cone? A dead baby. What's worse than a dead baby? Two dead babies. What's worse than two dead babies? The holocaust. What's worse than the holocaust? Dropping two ice-cream cones.

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Why did the boy fall of his BMX? Because someone threw a dish-washer at him.

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Whats funny about a man in a pink leotard ? Nothing infact i think he's very brave

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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