An old bear-wrestler dies and finds himself at the pearly gates. Confused and at a loss for words due to the unfamiliar circumstance and lack of public toilets, he blurts out "Saint Peter, I presume?" but it was just the train conductor. "Ticket please." He searched his pockets and finally found the ticket. He wished he had a dog, but not a seeing-eye dog because people would assume he was blind. This story illustrates the importance of situational awareness, remembering which pocket you put your ticket in, and not forgetting to go before you leave because you don't know when you'll be able to find a restroom.

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what's worse than dropping half your sandwich? Getting hit in the face with a sledgehammer

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Why did the kid poop his pants? He was a baby

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what did old retarded autistic ginger kid get for his birthday? i dont know thats why i asked

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If you just read this, You're dead.

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How do you stop a black kid from hanging around in your back yard? Hang him in the front yard.

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why do people take pictures in the bathroom? because they just got done taking a crap and they wanna see if they lost weight.

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Q: Why is there never sun beaming at the castle? A: Because the castle is full of knights.

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What is black, tastes like crap, lands in a toilet, feels soft and mushy, sometimes red, blue, yellow, purple and pink, feels very heavy. eats cookies, drinks soft drink and lights fires? A fat person in a coloured suit.

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What did one muffin say to the other muffin? Oh my gosh a talking muffin.

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Hey, I just met you And this is Crazy I have Amnesia I like trains.

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what do you call a guy with no arm and legs laying by the door? Matt! what do you call a guy with no arms and legs floating on water Bob!

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Whats worst than the holocaust? What? 6million Jews.

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Q: What did the architect say after he tripped? A: My mother died of cancer when I was 6.

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Why did the blond woman throw a clock out the window? She was going through a bitter divorce, and didn't want her ex-husband's things in her house anymore.

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whats black and hangs from my tree my neighbor

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Roses are red Violets are blue Your window is open I'm watching you

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Roses are brown Violets are brown Who pooped in my garden?

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Yo mommas teeth are so yellow that.....I reccomend she see a dentist.

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Psychic wanted. You know where to apply.

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Q: Whats black and green and goes 100 mph? A: A black and white car going 100 mph.

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What doesn't kill you leaves you in a coma.

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A blonde, a redhead and a brunette were on an island. There were loads of other people too - the UK is a pretty popular place to live.

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Three men were on a plane. One chucked an apple out the window. Unfortunately, due to the low pressure outside, all the men were sucked out the window.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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