What did the dog say to his owner? Bark.

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I will slam your FACE into the BOOK if you don't stay out of MY SPACE

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What do you call a man with a spade in his head? ...An innocent, family orientated murder victim.  X

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What's big white and can't fly? -Half of America Whats big brown and can't fly? -Crap

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Q: What did the Lone Ranger say when he saw his horse coming? A: Here comes my horse.

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Sigh... I gotta go to night class studies okay?

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What's worse than a bee sting? Two bee stings! What's worse than two bee stings? The Holocaust What's worse than the Holocaust? Adelle....

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Yo momma so ugly, she couldn't fulfill her dream of being a model.

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How are grapes and squirrels similar? They're both purple. Except for the squirrel.

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A Jew walked into Germany. He never walked back out.

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When geese migrate, why is one side of the V longer than the other? There are more birds on that side.

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What did the meteorologist say when there was tornado? There is a tornado 7 miles West of the station.

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Why did the chicken walk across the road? Because chickens cannot fly

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How do you torture a turtle? If you came up with an answer to that question you are completely and utterly unethical and immoral.

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What do you call a big group of Chinese people on Mars? An extraordinary feat for the Chinese space program and a historic day in human history, where a particular country has set up the first human colony on another planet and we have proven to ourselves that our race is capable of interplanetary travel and can accomplish anything if we set our minds to it.

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Dig Bick Your dislexic

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Why did the baby cross the road? he was taped to the chicken

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A man walks into a bar. Of chocolate. Yummy!

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How do you keep an idiot busy? Give him something to do.

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A bear wakes up from hibernation and is hungry. He sees a nearby forest cabin and decides to see if he can find food inside. The bear breaks into the cabin and thus the people staying there frantically run away to call animal control.

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You're an Irish male that walks into a bar full of Mexicans. Upon entering you are approached by two topless women. ....You realize you have been coming to the same sleazy strip club on the edge of town every night after work for the past few years. After seeing that you have gradually become completely bald and neglect your two children and wife, you recognize your extreme depression. Strippers now see you as a consistent, "paying customer" and you proceed seek psychiatric care, while being prescribed anti-depressants. The Mexicans at the bar are hard working, tax-paying citizens that would like to provide an education for their children.

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A man with Tourette's syndrome walks into a bar. Because of his disease, he shouts unexpected profanities across the room, and everybody in the bar bursts into laughter. The man cannot handle the humiliation anymore and goes home. He opens a drawer in his bedroom, pulls out a gun, and points it at his head. His wife walks in on him about to commit suicide. She is horrified. He then looks at her and then down, and he notices his one and only daughter by the age of 7 is by her side. The man ponders his reckless decision he was about to make. Moments later he and his family are holding one another sobbing in each others arms. A few days later the man goes back to the bar and shoots everybody there. Shocked and afraid, he curled up into a ball and regretted his decision. An hour later the police arrived and he was sentenced to life in prison for 3rd degree murder. His wife moved on and started a new family with his former best friend, and his daughter vists him every first tuesday of every other month. The man still suffers from Tourette's and cannot control his ticks and rots in jail. He continues to scream random obscenities for the rest of his life with no parole.

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Knock knock. Who's there? We are members of the church of Jesus Christ of latter day saints.

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What do you call a smelly black person? An African american with poor hygiene

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops