A man walks into a barbershop. He gets a crew cut and leaves.

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Doctor: I got bad news and worse news Patient: Whats the bad news? Doctor: You have 24 hours to live Patient: Whats the worse news? Doctor: Your mom died this morning

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Why couldn't the baby play with the blocks? It died during birth.

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Knock Knock Whos there? Rivkee Rivkee who? RIVKEEEEE FIRETRUCK!

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Why did Hitler kill himself? He saw his gas bill.

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Have you seen the newest starwars? What movie? I mean that episode where stars fight... Will Smith vs Keanu Reeves? I am talking about the stars in the sky firing at each other! You know, those star pilots on planes... Flown by Will Smith and Keanu Reeves? BOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOM! (You heard that one in your head)

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teacher:humpty dumpty sat on a wall.... me: wait, why was he up there ms.park? teacher: well hes never been the same since vietnam, his wife divorced him and now hes a raging alcoholic.

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How much does a polar bear weigh? about 900 pounds

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An man walks into a bar and then proceeds to purchase an alcoholic drink.

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Why does Michael J. Fox make the best milkshakes? Because he uses the best ingredients.

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Why did the chicken cross the road. To get to the other side. Original anti joke.

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why did the Mexican eat a octopus because he was hungry would die if he didn't

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Click here for free sandwich.

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Why did Sally fall off the swing? She has no arms. Knock Knock Who's there? Not Sally

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There's a 4 door kayak going down the street and it loses a wing. How many doughnuts fit in a dog house? And remember its not yellow, because snakes don't have armpits.

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What's green and runs through the forest? - A pack of cucumbers. What's wrong with that? - Cucumbers aren't pack animals.

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What do the Chinese call "Ping Pong"? Ping Pong

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what did the asian say to the other asian "where both asian"

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roses are red violets are hot dog this rhyme has no sense fork

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Q:why is walmart so big? A:Years ago a man named Sam Walton had a vision for one stop shopping. And it goes without saying that being a one stop shop must mean you have a lot of inventory thus the size of Walmart is a lot larger to hold and support the increased mass of inventory .

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What do you say to seduce a woman? Is that a mustache? WTF!

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The FCC

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What do you call the Flintstones if they were black? N****rs

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How do you make money? Kill babies and sell them.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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