Q. what has 2 tums and a boner. A. a horny guy <3

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What's big and grey and can't climb trees? A car park.

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There's a tray of muffins in the oven. One muffin says, "man it's hot in here!" Another muffin says, "holy shit! A talking muffin!"

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Whats the difference between a Mexican and a bench? One is a human being and one is an inanimate object that people enjoy sitting on.

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Why did the plane crash? The pilot was a loaf of bread.

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Did you hear the one about the Mexican that went to college? All his life, Juan wanted to get a decent education, but was unable to due to his family's low income. So Juan worked hard all his life, and got a part-time job. He made a little cash here, a little there. He also studied vigorously, getting a 33 on his ACT. All that work eventually paid off, and Juan was eventually accepted at Princeton University. Juan is now a highly paid Neurological surgeon, and has saved countless lives

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What's brown and rhymes with snoop ? Dr Dre.

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Pete and Repeat are sitting on a bridge, Pete fell off and Repeat still hasn't been able to forgive himself for pressuring Pete to join him on such a perilous perch.

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Q: What did Batman say to Robin right before they got in the b\Batmobile? A: "Robin, get in the Batmobile."

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Man who wrote "The Hokey Pokey" died. Hard part was getting him into the coffin. They put his left leg in and then the trouble started..

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i was quite upset when my girlfriend called me a peodifile, what does she know, shes only 6.

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How is a hamster like a cigarette? They are harmless until you stick them in your mouth and light them on fire

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wormly wormly sat on the worm theworm said wormly and went to warmly

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Knock knock. Who's there? Boo Boo who? I don't have a last name, it's just Boo

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Did you hear about the three Arabs that hijacked a plane? They drove it into the Pentagon.

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What did the magician say to the little boy after he "cut" his mother in half. She is dead now. Your dad is on Row 4, he is crying.

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So a guy gets drunk and walks into a gay bar by accident He then yells I LOVE PENIS!!!!! everyone yells oh yeaaaaaaaaaa

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Knock knock. Who's there? You. You who? Fuck you.

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Hillo, its Spodermen, teiling u i fuked ur bich.

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your mother is a well respected woman in society and makes delicious cookies.

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Why did the man jump off the bridge. Because he found his beloved wife cheating on him with his life-long friend that he meet when they both where in pre-school.

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nick walked into macdonalds... everyone stood up and left as they saw the potential danger in the situation.. nick later ended up bieng hit by a bus after chasing a duck

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What is lil Wayne's real name? Dwayne micheal carter jr.

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"I vant to blood your suck!" warned Darcula.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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