Roses are red violets are blue, your library book is overdue, and if you dont pay the fine...i'll punch you in the mouth.

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Why did the duck walk on the moon? Because it was his lifelong goal

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why didnt Tim Tebow go to church? He had practice half an hour before the service was scheduled to start, and to do both was impossible and missing practice would have resulted in disciplinary action from both his coaches and his teammates.

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A man is pulled over because he is suspected of drunk driving. The officer comes to the window and is greeted by a man who then replies: What seems to be the officer, problem?

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Why did the baby cross the road? he was taped to the chicken

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A black man walks into a bar. The bartender says, "I wont serve you." The black man says, "Why? Is it because of the color of my skin?" The bartender says, "No, didn't you read the sign on the front door? It says, "People with suits on will not be served." So the black man took off his suit and was kindly served.

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What did the jerk say to the Mexican? You are a Mexican

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What do you call a boy with no arms or legs Mat

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Vaginal secretions

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what do you call a black man, white man, mexican, irishman, indian, and chinese man being hung at the same time? -a racially diverse pirate crew

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What did the cow say to the other cow? Moo.

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What did the farmer say when he couldn't find his tractor? Where's my tractor?

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Why did the man stop running. He was tierd

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My closet is like the wardrobe to Narnia, accept my closet isnt a portal into a magical world.

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What do you do when life throws lemons at you? Take out your lemon shield and retreat deep into your lemon proof bunker.

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whats black with purple?nothing no animals or humans have anything like that

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A blonde walks into a bar. She enjoys a refreshing, cold beverage with friends before returning home to sleep ahead of another day of hard work as a scientist.

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Whats worse then dieing and going to hell? Waking up and going to school.

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What happens when you give a guinea pig a cherry? He turns into satan.

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-What do you call a dog with no legs? -Call it whatever you want, it's not coming!

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What did the woman say when her boyfriend asked her to marry him? Idk my bff jill.

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What's blue and fluffy? Blue fluff.

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So, Helen Keller walked into a bar....and then a stool, and then a counter, and then a table....

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Why could't Jerry go to school on the Wednesday? Because he died on the Monday.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops