What did the judge say to the criminal? I sentence you to a life time of solitary confinement.

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Two whales are in a bar. One says, "whoaohaoahwoahwahoh" The other says, "Go home, Frank. You're drunk."

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Did you hear the joke about the pencil? Nevermind it was pointless.

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What do you call a black man that is wearing a suit? Whatever his name happens to be

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Man- Where can I find a book on the holocaust Book keeper- Have you tried comedy? Man- no I havent Book keeper- good it won't be there

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How many babiess it take to paint a house? Depends on how hard you throw them.

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You know what they say about people with big feet? Big shoes.

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why didn't the chicken cross the road... because it got hit by a truck

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Knock knock. Who's there? Cargo. Cargo who? Cargo beep beep.

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What did the boy with no arms and no legs get for Christmas? A bicycle.

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Q:Why did Jimmy eat an apple? A:He was hungry.

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why couldnt the man dunk? because he was 3' 2" and a legal midget.

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What do you call a Mexican without any arms or legs? A bean.

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What were the pilots' of Malaysia Airlines Missing plane favourite programs? Lost...

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What is the difference between a goat? It can neither ride a bike.

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What's worst than biting into an apple and finding a worm? The holoca- *the man hearing the joke then pulls out a desert eagle and shoots the man in the chest before finishing the joke then goes to jail for the rest of his life*

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how do you stop a baby from crawling in circles??????? you nail its other hand to the floor

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Getting all F's on your report card isnt that bad.... I mean you could go home to find your whole family murdered and your Girlfriend hanging from a noose.

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what's longer than my shlong? .... nothing

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Vagina Boob

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Why can't Helen Keller drive a car? Because she's dead.

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How do you hit a clown off a swing? There are many was of acting upon this situation but the most successful approach would be hitting the clown with a heavy object,

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How many Soviet Russians does it take to screw in a light bulb? None, in Soviet Russia, light bulbs are an unavailable commodity because the tyrannical government has called for a ban on unnatural illumination. A fact which is not lost on Mikhail, the light bulb maker whose wife died because his lack of business caused him to miss payments on his hospital bills.

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A blonde woman with her son are in walmart , as they approach the food and beverage section , they see a mexican man looking at the eggs. The man asks for help from the blonde woman about egg quality. She says ABD Eggs are the best so the mexican guy chooses that. Upon leaving the little boy points to the mexicans guys hat and shouts "ALIENS !" the mother gets really embarassed and shouts at her son for his behaviour and says it is not right. The mum gets relieved that she say that the mexican guy could not hear since he was listening to music. Upon the way out the mum spots a purplish liquid dripping out of the mexican guys hair. She asks him and he replies "Its the hair gel". The blonde and son nods and continues on their lives. - AK

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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