why did the chicken cross the road? because he was stapled to the head of a penis that belonged to an asian man

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How do you make money? Kill babies and sell them.

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Q: What did the Jew get for Christmas? A: Nothing you dumbass, Jews don't celebrate Christmas.

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Why was the man sad He wasnt i lied

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Why did the little boy fall off the swing? He had no arms

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What happens after you go to school? (you tell me, i'm only in 6th grade)

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Q. how to kill the germ on a food. A. wash it with bleach.

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What's good about eating every night? Knowing that an African won't.

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Why was six afraid of seven? Because seven was a terrorist.

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What did you call something that is long, hard and full of seamen? A ship.

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What's the most popular fruit in the U.S.? Bananas What's the most popular vegetable in the U.S.? Stephen Hawking

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Your friend says "Hi" What do you say back? You say "chunky salsa?" She said "what?" You think she knows you made out with her boyfriend last night. So... You blurt out " I'm SO sorry I made out with your boyfriend lastnight" Know.... Your dead meat.

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Women's Soccer.

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Why did the chicken cross the road? It didn't. Chickens live on farms.

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How do you drown a blonde? Weigh her down and throw her into a body of water.

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How do you prevent a baby from crawling all over the place? You nail his hands to the floor

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What is the different between going to church and reading a newspaper? You can take your shoes off when you read a newspaper.

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What do you call a man with no arms and no legs in the ocean? Dead.

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A horse walks into a bar. the bartender asks, "Why the long face?" The horse does not reply because it is a horse. The horse walks out of the bar kicking over some chairs and scaring some people because he is a horse and horses do not belong in public atmospheres.

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What do you call a big group of Chinese people on Mars? An extraordinary feat for the Chinese space program and a historic day in human history, where a particular country has set up the first human colony on another planet and we have proven to ourselves that our race is capable of interplanetary travel and can accomplish anything if we set our minds to it.

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You wanna know what's totally out of this world? The moon.

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what is yellow with red all over tweety in a blender

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Knock knock. After 1 and a half minutes of waiting, Phil assumes his friend is not home, and promptly leaves.

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Why did the boy fall off his bike? Prior to this incident he was being chased by a psychopathec killer who had just murdered his family. As he was escaping on his bike, the murder's lookout who was holding a shotgun, swung the butt end of the gun, causing severe brain damage and eventually death to the escaping boy, also causing him to topple over on his bycicle.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops