Alchohol.

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What do you call cheese that doesn't belong to you? Someone else's cheese.

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Knock Knock Who's there? Jehovah Witness

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Q. What do you call a child with no friends or family A. Adopted

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I need a sidecart on my motorcycle just for my diick

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What's yellow and can't swim? A bulldozer

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Why did the Zombie kill and eat a man? Because it was hungry.

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A: What did the Orange say to the Mango? B: Sup Hommie?! A: Wtf.... (awkwardly walks away)

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what did the left foot say to the right foot? Nothing, feet don't talk

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Horse walks into a bar... Bartender says It's probably not a good idea that you're in here. You're a very large animal. Any sudden movements, you may injure somebody. I don't know why you're here. None of the glasses are ergonomically designed for you to drink from them. So, you should probably leave.

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Q: How many surrealists does it take to change a light bulb? A: Ele PHa n T

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What's worse than the holocaust? The Jews.

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You know how I know you're gay? Because you came out to your close family and friends, who were all very respectful and accepting.

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What do you get with you crossbreed a lamp with a chicken? Nothing... You can't crossbreed an inanimate object with a living being.

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What do you call an old lady walking down the street? Widowed.

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What do a squirrel and a grape have in common? They are both purple except for the squirrel.

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An Asian woman is driving home from work and arrives in 30 minutes, which is strange because it normally does not take that long but she left during rush hour and the traffic was very bad at the time.

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What do trees and people have in common? If you hit them enough times with an axe they will fall over.

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Life is like a bridge. You get walked on all your life until you fall apart.

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An escalade with 5 black men crashes off a cliff and all of them die. this is terrible. an escalade seats 7.

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What do we call the science of classifying living things? Racism

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2 boys are going to get candy from the store. What happened? A robbery and they were killed

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What do you call Rosa Parks? One bitchy negro. Just kidding she was a visionary for human rights, now you can't dislike this cause you'll be saying that Rosa Parks wasn't a visionary, take that blacks.

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there once was a cat it was brown? fus-roh-dah

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops