What's the difference between Michael Jackson and Neil Armstrong? Neil Armstrong was the first man to walk on the moon... Michael Jackson has sex with little boys.

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What did the boy with no arms and legs get for Christmas? A mechanical wheelchair.

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Once i was walking down the street when i saw a homeless man As i leant to give him money he jumped up and stabbed me. Now i don't approach drunk strangers with hangovers

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What do you call a black man standing on top of a church? "Holy-Shit."

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What did the fish say after he swam into a wall? Dam

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Why did the chicken cross the road? Because the turkey was in the oven and all the farm animals thought the chicken could run the errands in his place just fine.

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How many dead babies can you fit in the trunk of a car? Depends on the car.

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ALCATRAZ IS REOPENED!

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What did the farmer say when he lost his tractor? Where is my tractor?

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How did Jimmy get into the R movie? He bought a ticket.

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3 guys walks into a park. Which one was holding the beer? None, all 3 guys were elementary kids

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roses are red, violets are blue, your boyfriends thinks i'm hot that's why he dumped you

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What do you call something that shoots out a white gooey liquid? A shampoo bottle

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Why did the gay man's ass hurt? He has rectal cancer.

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Why did apple fall off the tree? Because Sally was holding on for dear life and she grab the apple. The apple was still in good condition; Sally however, not so good.

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An Irishman and his sheep are locked in a barn together for 3 days. On the 3rd day his wife finally notices that he is gone, and comes looking in the barn for her husband. She liberates him, cooks him dinner, and they both laugh at the bestiality that occurred in the barn. 3 days is indeed a long time for anyone to endure.

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A man walks into a bar with tears rolling down his cheeks. The bartender asks why are you so blue? The man says he has blue skin disorder and that everyone has been making fun of him...

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How many Jews can you fit inside a car? Legally somewhere between 2 and 9 depending on seat belt availability and passenger space.

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What do you call a black man flying a plane? A pilot.

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How many calories are in a bag of Fritos? 160 calories.

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Q. How do you know when you've had too much too drink? A. Your dead(No because when your dead you can't think.)

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A man asks his friend "what's black, blue, and red all over?" He repiles, "Nothing, because I'm colorblind."

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Hickory Dickory Dock, your mother is a whore

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What do you call a poor man on the side of the rode asking for money? A poor man on the side of the rode asking for money.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops