Why do beavers have flat tails? They don't know but their relatives certainly get upset

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Roses are red, and violets are freakin violet. Not blue.

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"Ask me if I'm a tea pot" "Are you a tea pot?" "No" Try this on your friends

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A man told another,"You suck." The insulted man finished the sentence,"On juice boxes."

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Doctor: I have good news and bad news. The good news is that your parents survived the car accident. Kid: And the bad news is? Doctor: I have a horrible sense of humor, they're both dead. I'm so sorry.

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What do you call a hindu that has radiation poisoned A radiatative hindu

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One,two,skip a few... five,six,seven,eight...(and so on ad infinitum)

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Knock Knock Who's there? Your mom. Just kidding, it's the pizza guy. Pizza guy who?

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Whats the difference between anti-jokes and regular jokes? A Fridge full of dead babies being thrown at a black man with no arms or legs swinging from a tree.

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what do you call an octopus with 9 tentacles? a male octopus

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Whats worse than finding a worm in your apple? Getting your car repossessed.

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Roses are Red, Violets are Blue, I'm bad at poetry, ELEPHANTS!

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How many dead babies can you fit in a bathtub? Matters the size of the bathtub and the size of the babies.

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What's more annoying than dyslexic jokes? Jokes were peopel spel words rong.

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Barman: Why the long face? Horse: To support my twelve molars and twelve premolars which help me chew grass so I can swallow it properly.

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Sally went to an R-Kelly concert what happend when she came out? No one because R-Kelly peed on sally and cops came in.

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What looks good hanging from trees? Spanish moss.

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If life gives you lemons, you're setting up a bad joke

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There was a little boy in kindergarten who really had to go to the bathroom. So he asked his teacher if he could go to the bathroom, and she told him he could go at snack time. The little boy really had to go to the bathroom, so he asked his teacher again, and like before, she told him to wait until it was snack time. The little boy had to go very very badly and asked the teacher one more time. This time the teacher said "if you can say the alphabet, then you can go to be bathroom" so the little boy got up all his courage and started off with "A,B,C,D,E,F,G,H,I,J,K,L,M,N,O,P,Q,R,S,T,U,V,W,X,Y and Z." Then the teacher said,"good job" and let him go to the bathroom. When he went there was a man waiting in the stall who brutally raped and murdered the boy.

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hey I just met you, and this is crazy. I have alzheimers. Hey i just met you.

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what did god say when we made his first black person oops i acidenlty burnt it

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Knock knock. Whos there? I am you dumbass im standing right next to you.

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How do you get the neighborhood hoodlums to stop pushing you over in your wheelchair? Brutally murder their families in front of them.

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whats white and smells like onions? an onion..

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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