A priest and a rabbi walk into a bar They are friends and continue to have a pleasant evening

Why didn't Fred answer his phone? Because Fred is a tree.

How do you stop the mailman from performing his daily routes? You fill his house with blood thirsty bobcats

There was once a really smart Hufflepuff.

How do you make a plumer sad? You kill his children.

Roses are Red Violets are blue I am an onlince predator Post your address in the comment EJ

Why did the chicken cross the road? How the hell should I know? I'm not a chicken :/

What was pauls mum screaming? Rape

What do you call a black woman working at a bar? A Bartender. What do you call an asian woman working at a bar? A Bartender.

What looks good hanging from trees? Spanish moss.

Whats worse than finding a worm in your apple? Getting your car repossessed.

If life gives you lemons, you're setting up a bad joke

There was a little boy in kindergarten who really had to go to the bathroom. So he asked his teacher if he could go to the bathroom, and she told him he could go at snack time. The little boy really had to go to the bathroom, so he asked his teacher again, and like before, she told him to wait until it was snack time. The little boy had to go very very badly and asked the teacher one more time. This time the teacher said "if you can say the alphabet, then you can go to be bathroom" so the little boy got up all his courage and started off with "A,B,C,D,E,F,G,H,I,J,K,L,M,N,O,P,Q,R,S,T,U,V,W,X,Y and Z." Then the teacher said,"good job" and let him go to the bathroom. When he went there was a man waiting in the stall who brutally raped and murdered the boy.

Sally went to an R-Kelly concert what happend when she came out? No one because R-Kelly peed on sally and cops came in.

Barman: Why the long face? Horse: To support my twelve molars and twelve premolars which help me chew grass so I can swallow it properly.

What's more annoying than dyslexic jokes? Jokes were peopel spel words rong.

Roses are Red, Violets are Blue, I'm bad at poetry, ELEPHANTS!

Roses are red, and violets are freakin violet. Not blue.

Why do beavers have flat tails? They don't know but their relatives certainly get upset

One,two,skip a few... five,six,seven,eight...(and so on ad infinitum)

Doctor: I have good news and bad news. The good news is that your parents survived the car accident. Kid: And the bad news is? Doctor: I have a horrible sense of humor, they're both dead. I'm so sorry.

Knock Knock Who's there? Your mom. Just kidding, it's the pizza guy. Pizza guy who?

"Ask me if I'm a tea pot" "Are you a tea pot?" "No" Try this on your friends

A man told another,"You suck." The insulted man finished the sentence,"On juice boxes."

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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