A man walks into a bar. The bartender asks him what he would like. The man says,"I'm feeling light today so I'll just have some H2O." The man's friend says,"I'm feeling the same. I'll have some H2O, too." The second man died.

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Q: Why don't chicken breasts have nipples? A: because if you freeze them, they will pop the package.

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What's Black, White, and Red all over? A Cow in a giant blender...

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why didn't Lebron James give me a fourth quarter?...he forgot his wallet at home and didn't have any spare change.

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There once was the worlds most important people on an airplane. All of them. They were a Boy Scout with a hiking pack, World's Oldest person, World's Smartest person, a Scientist who had the cure to cancer, and the World's Richest man. The Pilot told them that the plane was running out of gas and they would have to bail. But there was a problem, two people were going to have to die. They were only two parachutes short. So the Scientist grabbed one and said, "I'm the only one with the cure to cancer I've got lives to save." And he bails. Then the World's oldest person jumps out with a parachute saying, "I Still Have A Life To Live!!!" Then the Richest person realizes there is two parachutes left. He says, "I have the most money so I have to go because I could save America from going bankrupt." Grabs a chute and jumps. Then, the world's smartest person just happens to be so selfish and bails with the last Parachute. So the Pilot and and the Boy Scout were left. The pilot was kind enough to let the Kid go because he still had he longest life to live. But the kid said no, we could both go. The pilot said no you go. The kid was still being stubborn. And said No, we could both go, The world's smartest person took my back pack, there is one chute left, we could share it. And so they both jumped and landed safely on the ground. And that was the end of the World's smartest man.

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If you rewind Gozilla, it's about a giant lizard that helps rebuild a burnig city, and then goes back into the ocean again...

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Why did the chicken cross the road. Because the grocery store only sold pork

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Why was the fat lady on the Medicine ball? Because she was fat!

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What is worst then a blond trying to pass collage?....... There is nothin wrong with that

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What do you call a gay black man? Whatever his name happens to be

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Where do you8 find a dog with no legs? right where you left it

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Q: Why did the chicken cross the road? A: Beacuse he got kicked out of the bar

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What do you get when you put a baby in a blender New Doritos Dip

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your mum is so fat her patronas is a cake...

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What do you call a Mexican kicking a ball? A soccer player

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Three men walk into a bar. The first guy bought two drinks, the second guy bought three drinks, can you guess what the third guy bought? A tazer.,

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Q: John eats 50 cany bars, eats 45, how many does he have now? A: Diabetes

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ask me if im a boy are you a boy? none of your buisness.

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What do you call a black priest? Holy shit!!

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why did Sally fall off of the swing? She had no arms. Knock Knock. Who's there?

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What's worse then a blind driver? A girl driver

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Roses are red, violets are blue When I cut you, you bleed

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Is it a ironic if a man with ADD is driving a Ford Focus?

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What does a duck have in common? The further it flies the more.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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