have u seen helen kellers dad? A: neither has she

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Why couldn't the blonde turn on the TV? The TV was broken.

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Why did the plane crash? The pilot was a toothpick

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A guy walks into a restaurant and sits down only to realize he is not wearing any pants. Immediately the police are called and arrest the man for indecent exposure. Given there were children in the restaurant at the time, the man is also charged as level 3 sex offender and is held on $100,000 bail. His family receives the news and become the talk of the town. His wife commits suicide from embarrassment, leaving her 10 year old son up for adoption who later gets involved with drugs due to his rough childhood.

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What's the best way to anger a Muslim? Key his car in front of him.

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Q: Whats the difference between a trash can full of dead babies, and a porch? A: A porch isnt in my garage.

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One kisses says: I have had 3 bottles of water today and I haven't peed yet. His friend says: O you probably have a urinary track infection.

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How do you kill a turtle? You can't, it has a shell for a reason.

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I had a quad when I was in high school, she was pretty but it was hard to get her out of the wheelchair.

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What did the little boy say to his cat? Masturbate on my moms corpse.

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What do a spoon and a platypus have in common? Nothing.

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your moms so fat that she had to buy bigger cloths, her husband left her, she became a druggie and died alone.

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How many Anne Franks does it take to screw in a light bulb? None, cause she's dead.

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If a man shouts in a forest and there is no woman around to hear him, is he still wrong? He could be, he could not be. It really depends on what he says. The greater concern is that he's shouting alone in the forest. Either he's in trouble or he has a major psychology disorder.

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An asian walks into class to take a math test. He did not study and consistently misbehaves and promptly fails.

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Two men are walking down the street. They both don't make eye contact and continue walking.

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My son made a tree fort, it burned down.

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A boy asks his teacher for a eraser....he was given a blue pen. Turns out he was in space.

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Why did the Mexican cross the border? He wanted to live a better life in pursuit of freedom and a better job.

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What do you call two black people on one bike? Unsafe. Regular bicycles are typically not suited for use by two people at once, black or otherwise. Riding on the handlebars is dangerous and can lead to serious injury.

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What's sad about black people that drink grape soda and eat fried chicken? The stereotypes are true.

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Jesus walks into a hotel, slams four nails down on the counter, and says, "Put me up for the night!" The concierge looks at him and says, "You're not Jesus. Jesus was brutally murdered approximately 1,970 years ago. And although I may not be a believer, his teachings have brought comfort and solace to millions of people around the world. Nor do we accept nails as payment. Please remove yourself from the premises or I will call security."

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How can you tell if someones gay? You ask them.

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Hey what did you do on The weekend??? I got hit by a bus!

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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