Make a man a fire and he'll be warm for a day... set a man on fire and he'll be warm for the rest of his life.

What do you call a clown with no sense of humor? Unemployed.

No because your face is really f***** up.

whats the difference between a black guy and pizza? a pizza can feed a family.

What's blue, orange, and silver all over? Nothing. That's a ridiculous combination of colors.

Nero, I am happy to hear from you again, but it kinda sounds like you are going to get yourself killed or something. Is there something else I can do? If that asshole is suffering, kill him after he is done doing it, I am done with that piece of shit. Honestly, what is going on Nero? You are not going to suicide or something are you? Please respond, right away, or I wont call your wife.

What happened to the boy that got hit by a bus? He was by a 2nd bus, by which he felt no pain because the first bus crushed his lungs and skull causing suffocation and profuse hemorraging.

What Did The Farmer Say When He Lost His Tractor.... "Wheres My Tractor"

A brunette, a redhead and a blonde are on the run from the police. They see a barn, and decide to hide inside it. They find three burlap sacks, and each hide in one. The police enter the barn, arrest each of the girls, and sentence them to life imprisonment for murder.

Why did Helen Keller's dog run away? Someone left the gate open.

Why doesn't God like pizza? Because he doesn't exist.

how many jews can you fit in a car? 2 in the front and 3 in the back depending on how many people decide to go

What do you call a boy with no arms and no legs waterskiing? Skip

What did the blind man say to the train conductor? Nothing. He was mute too.

Question: What do you call the black guy wearing a white shirt? Answer: Steve. His parents game him the name at birth, and he is called that ever since.

Asian women drivers...

Why did the world end? Because of Jim Layhey's whispering winds of shit.

My ex wife looks like a pitbull.

How come grilled cheese?

your a vagina says you, your a booby

There were once three brothers who were traveling along a lonely, winding road at twilight. In time, the brothers reached a river too deep to wade through and too dangerous to swim across. However, these brothers were learned in the magical arts, and so they simply waved their wands and made a bridge appear across the treacherous water. They were halfway across it when they found their path blocked by a hooded figure. This hooded figure then proceeded to step out of the shadows and mug them, all three of them were brutally murdered. This is why you stay away from hooded figures when you are being talked about in a story being told in third person.

What do you can a preschool on fire? A very dangerouse situation

What is black and white, and red all over? A mutilated penguin.

What happens when a blind man walking crashes in to man that's talking to his gang ? He wakes up in a ditch

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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