Why do girls think they deserve the very best? Because if an ugly girl in twilight can find a hunky vampire and ripped werewolf why can't they. And let's not forget those crappy Disney princess movies.

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Two Canadian men are sitting in a room. Man 1: Do you know what happens when you shoot a wolverine? Man 2: No. Man 1: It absorbs the bullets, duh. The second man proceeds to go outside with a gun. He returns in a few minutes. Man 1: What did you do with that gun? Man 2: I shot a wolverine. Man 1: What happened? Man 2: It fell over and died. I think you watch too much X-Men.

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What's the difference between ten dead babies and a Ferrari? There's no Ferrari in my garage.

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Why did the black man break up with his white girlfriend? Because he didn't love her anymore.

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Where would you find a dog with one leg? Possibly in a vet's surgery, or in an animal rescue home or being cared for by a loving owner.

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Why is mario red? His mother beat him as a child.

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Your momma is so fat, her doctor recommended exercising more and eating healthier.

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Why did Jesus cross the road? He didn't. He's dead.

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Why was 6 afraid of 7? Because 7 was a registered sex offender who recently got out of federal prison after a 20 year sentence.

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How did the man escape the giant scorpion? He didn't he watched as his family died and waited for his demise crying in the corner of the scorpion's layer

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Why did they choose Madonna to perform in the halftime show? Because she might die soon.

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How many licks does it take to get to the center of a lollipop? 782

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Who enjoys hearty wank sessions with friends and long walks on the beach? David Cameron.

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"Never trust what the internet says." - Abraham Lincoln

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How many pancakes do you need to reach a 2.5m roof? Purple, because aliens don't fly

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What the small boy with no arms or legs get fro christmas???? cancer

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Once there was an egg by the name of Steve. His name was Steve the Egg.

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knock knock who's there bob bob who bob marley who else

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Whats the difference between a jew and a canoe? Canoes weren't killed by Hitler

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Why did the black man enjoy KFC. Because like many foods, it contains monosodium glutamate (MSG) a flavor enhancer that makes many foods taste better. It however had nothing to do with race or cultural background.

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Man, It's so hot in here that the horses name is friday.

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What's bad about a Hispanic Women and a White man dating? A: Nothing at all really, unless either of them become involved in drugs, alchohol, or unprotected sex, which can ruin any relationship.

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whats worse than a wussy times two a wusst times three i like boobs u basterds suck a dick

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What did the one midget say to the other midget? We r both small

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops