Q: How many babies does it take to paint a wall? A: Depends on how hard you throw them.

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What did Hellen Keller say when she drove up to the stop sign? Nothing, she doesn't drive.

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What's old, silver, and smells like old cheese? A fork with old cheese on it.

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Correctional officer asks an inmate. "Does your elevator go all the way up"? Inmate replied. I don't know we always use the stairs.

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Who stole the cookie from the cookie jar Was it you? No

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What did the moose say to the photographer? Moose say cheese.

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a blonde girl walks into a bar...of soarp, slips, falls, and breaks her spine.

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what happened to your carpool? they died.

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Q: What did the lesbian say to her partner? A: We cannot get married in forty five states.

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Why did the chicken cross the road? It felt like it, no particular reason. Why did the hippo cross the road? Same reason as the chicken. Why did the Fred cross the road? He was with animal control, and a chicken and hippo had just been reported to cross this dangerous stretch of highway.

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Sprechen zie deutsche? nein!

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why did bob marley die because he did also he smoked weed he was naughty!

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what are you talking about. Nets are terrible. Lakers are going to be the best.

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Why did the tomato turn red? The salad pulled out a gun.

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How did the black man manage to get that 42 inch TV? He had been working a lot of overtime at work to try and treat his wife and kids.

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What happened to the fat japanese guy? His house was destroyed by the earthquake.

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why didn't bob die? because he liked his hair just the way it was.

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1: Knock, knock 2: Go away!

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Why did the dog cross the road? Because he saw another dog

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A baby walks into a bar, not long before it leaves out of the bar.

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Me: Hey Chris! Chris: WTF.u.c.k

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There's a football player who walks into a bar and sees a gay guy. The gay guy says, "So you're a football player, right?" The football player says, "Yes." The gay guy says, "I have a game of football myself. It's called fart football. It's where you drink a mug of beer in less than five seconds and then you drop your pants and fart for the extra point." The gay guy goes first. He drinks the mug of beer in less than five seconds and farts. The football player goes. He drinks the mug of beer in less than five seconds then he drops his pants and before he farts, the gay guy says, "BLOCK THAT KICK! BLOCK THAT KICK!"

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A black man is driving a nice car when he's suddenly pulled over by the police. "Do you know why I pulled you over?" asks the cop. "No officer" replies the black man. "You have a taillight out. However I'm going to just let you off with a warning because you seem like an upstanding citizen. Have a nice day."

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Why did the boy drop his ice cream? He got hit by a bus.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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