Why did Jimmy lay down? Because he was tired

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some weirdo nerd was just convicted of a hit and run Just kidding. All he did was suffocate your dad with a whoopee cusion.

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why did the boy drop his bus because he was hit by an ice cream

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Why did the Chicken cross the road? So it would not get hit

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What happened to the chinese man who walked into a wall with a boner? He hurt himself.

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What's white, black, red, and flies? An airplane pilot with a battleaxe driven into his head

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how many pancakes does it take to shingle a dog house? 16 if the ice cream melts

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what did the ghost say to the bee boo-bee

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roses are red violets are blue I lost my dog to typhoid it was an unfortunate case of bed luck

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What is long, hard, and full of seamen A submarine you pervert

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what do u call a newspaper boy on brake? your uncle because hes broke and struggling with income.

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A red-head, a brunette and a blond are trapped on an island 10km from civilization. The red-head swims 1.5km's, but is to tired, so she swims back to the island. The brunette swims 3km's, but is too tired, so she swims back to the island. After watching the first two fail, the blond evaluates the situation and decides that she does not possess the swimming ability required to reach the 5km point (At which swimming back to the island becomes equally as far as swimming to civilization), and instead stays on the island and creates a signal fire out of bits of debris scattered on the island, getting rescued within hours.

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Who's blind but can see, deaf but can hear, and dumb yet can solve the most complex mathematical equations? Helen Keller-Norris

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If i had a dollar for every time Lindsay Lohan Crashed a vehicle......i would be rich

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What's red, black, and green all over? This is! I only wish you could see it too - the website wont let me upload a picture - but it is pretty impressive! Oh well.

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Q. how to kill the germ on a food. A. wash it with bleach.

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What did the waitress do when the man asked for pizza? She ran away

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How do you make a baby cry ? Throw a brick at his face

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So a guy is playing jeopardy and decides to choose the category "Therapist." so he tells the host, "I'll take the rapist for 200."

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Roses are red. I f***** a dude. you're a failed abortion. I never loved you.

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a skinny sumo wrestler

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How did little Jimmy survive the 5 story fall? He didn't

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What's worst then a parking ticket? The plague

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What did one Dentist say to the other? You are fat.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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