A man walks into a bar. The bartender asks what he'd like to drink. The man pulls out his gun, shoots the surprised bartender, and proceeds to execute all the patrons of the bar and finally commit suicide. A post-mortem identification of the man identifies him as a victim of childhood sexual abuse and a diagnosed schizophrenic. There is a nice funeral for all the victims and the media respectfully minimizes exposure of the event.

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what the deference between a priest and acne well the acne doesn't come on the kids face tell hes thirteen

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What happened to the baby seal who went clubbing? He met a nice woman and contracted HIV from her after engaging in unprotected sexual intercourse after taking her to his flat.

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Why did the gay man's ass hurt? He has rectal cancer.

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Why was it really gross when the blonde dove into the swimming pool? Because the swimming pool was full of phlegm!

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Roses are Red Violets are Blue Even though I can't tell Because I am color blind

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Q: What's worse than finding a shrimp platter on a babys hand. A: A baby's hand on a shrimp platter

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What's the difference between a battered woman and a regular woman. There is absolutely no difference...

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When's the worst time to use skin moisturizer? When you're a burn victim.

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Why did Susan fall off the swing? -Because she has no arms. Knock, knock. Who's there? Not Susan.

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Why did the plane crash? Because the pilot was a loaf of bread.

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Y R U A B? I don't know why I am a bee.

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There is no "i" in "team," but there are two in "indigo."

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Roses are red, Violets are red, Oh shit my gardens on fire

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How do you kill a black man There is many ways

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What did the man say to the woman giving him a blowjob? That feels good.

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Why did the man jump into the river? He wanted to go for a swim, but the pool was closed, so he swam in the river.

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I dunno, I dont grade love, I want to see you, touch you, bang you (sorry for not having the guts to use a nicer word, but I am tired and that is what I have in me now) And while that makes me sound like some hippy, I am very fucking picky about who I spend time with, and when. And I got no male friends, waste of time, why spend time with guys when I can spend time with chicks. Excuse me, just need my meds, speaking of sincerity, yeah I use medications, wont tell you what, but its well, not for my "mental disorders" I was born crazy, and I am going to die like I live: INSANE.

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What's worse than getting dumped? Being molested by a crazy hobo

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A farmer hears a knock at the door on a rainy night. He opens the door and welcomes an attractive young man in. The farmer gets his budding teenage daughter to fetch the man a towel. He dries himself off, thanks them both, and goes to bed. He's gone before anyone else wakes up and leaves a fifty on the table.

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what do you call 20 black people under the ocean? a tragic boating accident

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Why did the male propagate the female? Because he was drugged. Slyly, this foxy female had slipped the male the date rape drug and a dangerous amount of viagra. During intercourse, the male ripped a gaping hole in the female's stomach and killed her. He woke up confused inside a dead stinking corpse.

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Yo moma so fat, it ain't even funny. Seriously. She is suffering real diabetes! Do you know how that feels? I though so...

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A man walks into a bar and the bartender asks what he'd like. The man says something funny, but you kinda had to be there.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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