what would happen if you took all the veins out of your body and laid them out tip to tip? you die

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A man walks into a movie theater.and attempts to parate a film. He is then caught by employees of the theater and now faces fines and possible jail time for his actions.

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numbers just make the funniest antijokes

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a horse walks into an abandoned lighthouse , the lighthouse keeper is angered by this and ushers the horse to leave but the horse gets startled and kicks the mans bookshelf over before galloping away

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A man walks into a bar, and he died.

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whats the difference between a mexican and a bench? a beanch can support a family

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Roses are red Violets are blue Not all poems rhyme Penis

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What do you call a fish with no eyes? Astyanax mexicanus, a subspecies of Mexican tetra that lives in a subterranean habitat and as such has structurally degenerate eyes that have atrophied over the course of evolution.

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Dylan Hodge's mother touches her own butthole at night. Joshua Brown's sister rubs Josh's earlobes passionately. Brock is a fag. Jacob is Awesome. Daniel THINKS he's awesome. Jamie kills everyone. Apart from Jacob.

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A boy and his father are in a car crash. The father dies and the son is transported to the nearest hospital. Once there, a surgeon is brought in to operate on the boy. The surgeon steps back and says "I can't operate on this boy, I haven't had enough training for such a situation." The hospital calls in another surgeon and they are more qualified for the event. Then the surgeon wakes up and realizes the boy is in critical condition. There is blood drenching his shirt and there is only seconds to operate. Suddenly, the boy wakes up and realizes he has just survived a car crash. Suddenly Leonardo DeCaprio enters with a girl. The world turns on its side and they all wake up to find them selves a victim of Inception. Then the caterpillar wakes up and realizes it has immense mental capacity, even above those of an above-average human. Then I woke up and realized I lost my job. MLIA.

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Knock, Knock... Whose there? panther panther who? panth-er no panths im goin' swimmin'

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What's the hardest part of walking through a pile of dead babies? My penis.

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Q: How many babies does it take to paint a wall? A: It depends on how hard you throw them.

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Why can't Abraham Lincoln tell a lie? Because he's dead.

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Not really a anti joke: Superman is flying over town when he suddenly spots a completely naked Spiderwoman moaning and all sweaty while rubbing her her legs, This gets Superman really h0rny but does not want to get caught, so he flies down and bangs away so fast nobody notices a thing a thing and leaves. Spiderwoman: Hey honey whats wrong? Please come lie on top of me again! Invisible Man: AAAAAAARGH!!! IT FEELS LIKE I HAVE A DAMN BOWLING BALL UP MY ASS HOLE!!!

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Why did the chicken cross the road? Because the chicken was trying to escape from the sad and depressing environment that surrounded him on the side he thus came from. Alas, he did not know that he would be soon hit by a drunk truck driver, who would also die, in a bright explosion of morbid flames and screams.

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WNBA

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A: Ask me if I am an Orange. B: "Are you an Orange?" A: No.

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Where can you find the best black man soup? I don't know. Cannibilism is no longer socially acceptable.

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How many kids with ADHD does it take to change a lightbulb? I dont know lets go play on our bikes.

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why are there so many peadofiles in the world? sexy kids.

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Yo mama so ugly everybody died. The End.

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Why can't Chuck Norris divide by zero Because it's impossible.

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whats the difference between a black baby and a white baby? thier skin tone.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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