Colloqiual irregularities are a significant part of the English language, and excellent example of this is between can and may.

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What do you call a cat with no ears? Anything you fucking well like. Cats can't understand speech.

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What did the mother say to her son? I have Leukemia.

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Jesus walks into a hotel, slams four nails down on the counter, and says, "Put me up for the night!" The concierge looks at him and says, "You're not Jesus. Jesus was brutally murdered approximately 1,970 years ago. And although I may not be a believer, his teachings have brought comfort and solace to millions of people around the world. Nor do we accept nails as payment. Please remove yourself from the premises or I will call security."

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What do you call two spaniards talking in French. Bilingual.

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Roses are black, Violets are black, Everything's black, I'm blind.

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Why didn't the skeleton cross the road? Because he has no sense of living and no muscles to move.

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A man is walking down the street in Chicago. A man in a car pulls up next to him and asks him, "Excuse me sir, how do I get to Carnegie Hall?", at which the man on the street said, "Go straight here, turn onto Birch, follow that to the second stop light, then turn left on Main, big complex, can't miss it." "Thank you!"

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What happends when two gay guys want to have kids? They can't, so they go to an orphanage and adopt one.

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What's the difference between a ferrari and pile of dead babies? I don't have a ferrari in my garage.

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A man walks outside and sits down to eat his sandwich.

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Fight fire with with fire! That would be impossible, it'd just make the fire bigger. And probably kill you.

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3 men walk into a bar. The 4th one ducks.

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Why did the flight attendant look scared every time every time she saw a muslim get on the airplane? Because her family got murdered in front of her before she came to work

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Whats small white and has a hole in it? A powdered Donut

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A black man is like a sledge hammer; if you compare him to a sledge hammer, he will hit you with a sledge hammer.

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What's red and bad for your teeth? A brick

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Why was the boy so tired? He had to carry his moms dead body up the stairs.

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Why isn't this joke funny? Because it has no point.

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A man walks inta pet store looking for a dog. All he finds are cats.What did he end up buying. A weasel

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Black people are like jelly beans. Nobody likes the black one's.

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Knock knock Who is there? Your mom Your mom who? STOP WITH THIS GAME AND JUST OPEN THE DOOR!

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I forgot how the joke starts but the punchline goes something something something your moms a slut.

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A girl asks her best friends: Why are you only wearing one earring? The best friends replies: Because I took the other one out.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

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The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

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