Barak Obama, Justin Bieber, and Lindsey Lohan all jump out of a plane. all of their parachutes deploy. except Justin Bieberrs, he then dies of cancer

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How many lesbians does it take to change a lightbulb? One. But after she does this, se will probably have sex with another woman

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A: what did one apple say to the other apple. B: Nothing apples cant talk

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What's black and white and red all over? A modern abstract painting

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Help! I've fallen and I can't get up.

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I started writing poetry the other day: POETR That's coming along nicely.

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A guy wanted to write a joke. He didn't.

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What did the woman say when she didn't finish her meal? Can I get a to go box

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What does a penguin and a watermelon have in common? They all come from Earth.

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Why did I lose a card game to a cat? Cause he was a cheetah!

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What's the difference between a convertible and a dead baby? One's in my garage, and one's a car.

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A white man, a black man and an asian walked into a bar. They got a drink and discussed multiple issues of the day and then went their seperate ways home.

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There was a boy named Steven, a son of a rich business man. Steven was an interesting child though, as he always kept care to one of his possessions. That possession being a plain, old, brown box. On Steven's fourth birthday his father said he could have anything in the world he wanted, just name it. Steven said he wanted two quarters to put in his box. The father agreed and gave his son two quarters to put in his box. Every year the father would say he could have anything he wished for, and Steven just asked for two quarters. Nothing more. On Steven's 18th birthday he got into a severe car crash. The father stood over the hospital bed where Steven lay. "I can get you the best doctors in the world. They can save you, please let me get you this for your birthday!" The boy shook his head. "All I want is two quarters" Steven replied. The father was distraught. "Son, tell me why you've wanted these two quarters every year you have been alive instead of anything else in the world". The boy complied. "Fine I'll tell you." Then Steven died before he could tell the father. The End.

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An Iranian, a Mexican, and an American are on an airplane. The plane is too heavy to take off, so to lighten the load, each person has to throw off something their country has a lot of. The Iranian throws off a nuclear bomb. The Mexican throws off a sombrero. The American throws off an apple pie.

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Q: How much old could a wood chuck chuck if a wood chuck could chuck Wood A:10.6 cubic metes

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Just checked my Tesco burgers in the fridge and they're still within the use by date.

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Jimmy: Knock Knock Nick: Whose there? Jimmy: Joe Nick: Joe Who? Jimmy: Joe Mamma Nick: No shes dead.

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I'm black and I will beat your children At checkers, they can have red

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What did the dead man say to God? I'm dead.

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What did the orange say to the lemon? "Hello"

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What's brown and sticky? Poop.

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What has two legs? Half a cat

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A black man goes outside to shoot some hoops. He misses all of them because not all blacks are good at basketball.

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Your Mother is so ugly that men tend to avoid her.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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