Friends are like balloons When you stab them they die.

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Why did the monkey fall out of the tree? Because it was dead. Why did the chipmunk fall out of the tree? Because it was stapled to the monkey.

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knock knock who's there? the police, we have a warrant for your arrest.

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A new scientific study has scientists baffled as it clearly shows that teen sex drastically decreases at age 20.

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A Chinese man, a Mexican man and an African man walk into an American bar. None of them know any English and can not order a drink. They walk out promptly, frustrated by the difficulties of living in a strange new world where they don't speak the native language.

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A man wakes up after a long night with a girl he recently met. He pulls out a cigarette, and looks for his lighter, but can not find it. He asks the girl if she has a lighter and she replies "There might be some matches in the top drawer of my dresser." He opens the top drawer and finds some matches.

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Why did the jewish family move? Their house burnt down. They lost everything and was tragic

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roses are red violets are blue sunflowers are yellow I bet you were expecting something romantic but this is just gardening facts

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A chinese man walks into a kitten store. He is a nice man in search of a companion.

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What the difference between a car and a dead child I dont have a car in the basement

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My Jimmy Saville advent calendar is rubbish. It only opens from 1 to 16.

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rabbits running in my bathroom!

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Why did Julie fall off a swing? 'Cause she had no hands. Knock, knock. Who's there? Not Julie, that's certain.

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When life gives you lemons you make orange juice so people will say "How the hell did you do that?"

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What did the little boy get for Christmas? Cancer.

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Why did the chicken cross the road? Because you touch yourself.

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An alcoholic is someone you don't like who drinks as much as you do.

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Whats better than winning an award? Not having your family shot to death

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John walked up to his dad one morning and shouted, "Dad, it's my birthday!" Dad said, "Cool, how old are you?" John says, "I'm seven!" Dad tells him to go downstairs and tell his grandpa. John runs down and says, "Grandpa, it's my birthday, guess how old I am!" Grandpa sticks his hand in John's pants and sticks his thumb into his anus. As he pulls his hand out, he pinches his penis. Grandpa says, "You're seven." John says, "How did you know?" Grandpa says, "I heard you tell your dad upstairs."

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A Black Man Walks Into an Office For A Job Interview. The Meeting Goes Very And He Soon Has A Very Nice Steady Job.

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Q: How many teenagers does it take to change a lightbulb? A: None, they just sit in the dark and complain about it.

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Roses are red. Violets are blue. I don't know why.

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Roses are red Violets are blue I have 5 fingers and the middles for you

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Why did i get some thing to eat? Because i was hungry.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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