happy birthday! Its not my birthday! Oh i just assumed from your smell. That doesn't make much sense does it? It does. No it doesnt. Are you sure? Yes. Oh. Do i smell? Like chickens. Oh. I wish i were alive. What? Bobbing for apples? what? You smell like a toilet seat. Fine! You never spend time with me any more! I dont like you! oh. you know who nobody likes? Who? amanda burchell.

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How many lesbians did Tiger Woods bang? None, his standards are much higher than that

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What is so sad about 5 black people going over a cliff in a Ferrari? That was my Ferrari by darragh hamilton

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Why is the bowler right handed? He has no left hand.

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Why is Michael Jackson a bad chess player? Because he's dead.

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What's Green and has Wheels? Ian Leighton... I LIED ABOUT THE GREEN

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this is a haiku i have no idea where i am going with .... this

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You're walking down a street and you see a man struggling to open a door, what do you do? Whatever you feel like doing.

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What's the best way to anger a Muslim? Key his car in front of him.

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Yo momma so fat she saw a yellow bus full of white kids and said, "STOP THAT TWINKIE!!"

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Whats better then free candy from a guy in a van? Trying to find his lost puppy so his kids don't cry.

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Nero, I mean it, I want you and your wife to have 15 million dollars, it wont buy you the happiness you seek, but it helps no?

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What did the man say ti the other man? Hi

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A lost young boy walks into a bar to ask for a map. The Bartender takes him into a room and rapes him.

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What do you call a fat zombie? Dead

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How do you blind an Asian man You stab him six times in each eye socket and drop cyan pepper in his eye wound.

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What's the difference between a leopard and a jaguar ? The rabbit flies faster, while the pigeon can breathe underwater.

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Knock Knock........wait there cars gone, I'll come back later

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Yo mama is so stupid that see should really be concerned with furthering her education in a four-year university

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What did the racist southerner say to the snide lawyer? "I have AIDS."

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Why did the little boy fall off the swing? Because he has no arms.

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What do you call a unicorn that is both invisible and pink? The Invisible Pink Unicorn.

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What happened to the lion which escaped from the zoo? It was successfully recaptured.

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Roses are red, violets blue, um... that's all i got.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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