what did the carrot say to the rabbit? stop eating me you son of a B*****

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What's worse than a dead baby in a barrel? A dead baby in 8 barrels.

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What did Luigi say to Mario? You look like a fat Mexican

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why was the little boy sad? because he had a frog stapled to his face.

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what did Cinderella say when she got to the ball? "Grggglgluglguggarglegerrrllggglge"

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Why did the ginger go to hell? Because after all the bullying she endured for her hair color, she felt her only option was to commit suicide.

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why did the monkey fall? he got hit by a train

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a cancer patient walks into a bar and has a stroke

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Is this the Krusty Krab? Yes...? No, you're still Patrick!

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A penguin walked into a bar. Just kidding, it waddled at an increasingly fast rate.

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Q. What do you call a blonde in a library? A. Lost.

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every man comes from between a women's legs for the rest of their lives they try to get back in

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The doctor woke up and the hooker he screwed told him she had the clap and he said thats the least of your problms bitch you have aids

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Why was Hellen Keller a bad driver? She was a woman

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What did the dinosaur say to the other dinosaur? We are both dinosaurs.

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KONY 2012! *world rises up cheering in spontaneous patriotism for Africa* Leader of KONY 2012 arrested for public masturbation

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What's long and hard and full of semen? An erect penis at the climax of an orgasm.

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Q: What did the cat say to the dog? A: I hate you, alot

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What is Worst than having a cancer ? Having two cancer

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A black man a white man and an asian man walk into a bar have a few drinks and on thier drive home run over a three year old little girl and here to month old sister and they go to prison for the rest of thier lives (they shouldn't of let the asian drive)

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A blonde, brunette, and redhead find a cliff that is supposed to turn you into something which you exclaim upon leaping from the cliff. The brunette jumps off and exclaims: BIRD! She thus falls to her death on a ton of pointy rocks. The other two loot her corpse and walk away.

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Why did the circus clown lose his balance? He had a seizure while on his unicycle, fell off, and bumped his head, leading to significant blunt trauma in the brain. Weeks later, after waking up from a coma, the doctors discover that he can no longer speak anything other than gibberish. His friends and family decide that he cannot go on living this way and decide to pull the plug.

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How long does it take a person to steal a television? Many variables could determine said ability to successfully steal a television. Such variables depend on sub-variables such as weight of the television, whether the television is a store, an upper-class citizen's home, or in a "ghetto" apartment. A main variable could be the race of the thief in question. African Americans are scientifically more likely to steal a television faster compared to a Caucasian. Yet a downside to being an African American is the fact that they are more likely to be called in for questioning or arrested on the spot at their broken down home. Caucasians are less likely to be questioned and if caught will most likely obtain the proper amount of bribery money in which to pay off the police.

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one time, a fancy business man walked into a bar. but then he figured out that he wasnt supposed to be there. so he politely apologized to the mortician an and he granted him permission to exit the closet.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops