Little molly says she wants to have a baby when she grows up because her little baby brother died of ta-sacs 6 months after birth.

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Simon says.. Nothing because he's deaf.

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Q) why did jimmy kick the bucket. A) Because his dad is an alcoholic and Beats him to the point of near death, so He takes his anger out by kicking anatomit Objects such as a bucket.

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One day, a small bald man was walking up the street, when her saw a large red porche, extremely grand, and the door was wide open. He walked over and inspected the open door, and to his surprise, the keys were in place by the steering wheel. He was a good man, with a loving wife and two teenage children, and he had no intention of steeling the vehicle. But astonished by the owner lack of protection, he hopped into the car and drove it around the block, just for the thrill of riding such an amazing car. Around 30 seconds after, he parked the car, got out, leaving the car in the same place, with the door open and the keys in, then he walked home and lived the rest of his life.

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Why would Obama like to be ahead of some guy's poll and bent over at the same time? Because being ahead in someone's poll is encouraging news for his election campaign and bending over is part of the exercise program he uses to stay in shape.

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Why is Helen Keller Blind and Deaf? Because she can't drive!... oh no wait I screwed that up.

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why did the chicken cross the road? its a chicken giving it the tendencies to wander if not properly fenced in.

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One day, an Irishman, a Jew and an American were walking home from a long game of golf. "God, that was a long game" said the American, to which the Irishman replied "aye, that it was." The Irishman then turned to the Jew, and asked him how he managed to get two birdies in succession. The Jew, after a moment of deliberation, began to explain. "Well, it all began when I was six. See, there was a mountain right next to Casparia, the village I lived for most of my life back in Wales. Every day, I'd come back from school, and ask my dad why nobody ever attempted to scale the mountain. 'To do so would be an unnecessary risk, son, and people are too busy working to put food and water on the tables for their families to undertake something so foolish.' One night, when insomnia was getting the better of me, I decided to get a better look at the mountain, so I strapped on my boots, my fur coat and some woolly mittens and left for the mountain. After a few hours of walking, I approached the closest hill which gave me a perfect view of the mountain's first peak, and there I spotted a polar bear, mauling a hiker to death." The Jew paused to check the Irishman and the American were following, when the American spoke up; "hold on there, there aren't any polar bears in Casparia!" The Irishman also spoke up; "there isn't even a village called Casparia, well, anywhere!" The Jew smiled slightly, and a few seconds later the smile broke out into a gigantic grin, and he finally replied: "exactly".

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what do you call a cow on a rollercoaster? a very dangerous and unlikely event

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What do you do to get someone to shut up? You hit with a brick

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what is blue and smells like fish? blue fish ;)

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why did Susie fall of the swing? she had no arms Knock Knock Who`s there? not Susie

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A man shouts a women crossing the road "Oi, get your rat out love!" So she did, and it savaged his face.

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Q: Why did Steve fall out of the tree A: He was raking the leaves

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Whats better than winning an award? Not having your family shot to death

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Why do midgets laugh when they run? Because the grass tickles there balls

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When it comes ro the zodiac my grandmother was a cancer and... She ws killed by... A giant crab

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Why was the blonde on the train tracks? Because she was tied up by a madman on crack.

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How do you make a baby cry? You throw bricks at its face.

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How do you stop a black man from drowning? Through him a survival buoy

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What did T Pain say to the skipper of his yacht? I'm on a yacht

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What do grass and cows have in common? They both say "moo" except for grass

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Grandma used to say "you only die once." Years later, I learned the wisdom behind those words.

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Q: What did the black kid get for Chirstmas? A: Your bike

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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